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Should These Boys Be Banned From School?
LONGHAIRS RESPOND TO HAIR DISCRIMINATION
In a seeming coincidence, one boy in Mont Belvieu, TX and another in Joshua, TX are being banned from attending school for having long hair.
In Mont Belvieu, TX, four-year-old Jabez Oates is being barred from class because his hair violates the Barbers Hill Independent School District dress code, mandating boys’ hair must be above the eyes, ears and neck. In a statement issued by the district, his mother Jessica Oates was told not to bring Jabez back to school until his hair meets school guidelines.
In Joshua, TX, nine-year-old Habib Dwabe’s mother, Faye Abunijmeh, has been told her son’s hair violates the Joshua Independent School District Dress Code, and that he must cut his hair before school starts. Habib has been growing his hair for four years and intends to donate his hair to Wigs for Kids or another charity.
According to the JISD student handbook the dress code is “…established to teach grooming and hygiene, prevent disruption, and minimize safety hazards.” In the same 115+ handbook the nondiscrimination statement reads, The District prohibits discrimination, including harassment, on the basis of race, color, religion, gender, national origin, age, disability, or any other basis prohibited by law.
We Stand For The Little Guys
The Longhairs’ stance on this issue is, and has been, as follows:
While respecting the wishes of all parents, we staunchly believe men and boys should wear their hair however long they choose.
In the case of school policy, we firmly assert that no child, boy or girl, should be denied their education due to the length of their hair. To Habib, Jabez and his parents, we got your back.
Furthermore, we reject the notion of separate regulatory policies for boys and girls’ hair length, which not only reinforce artificial gender roles and stereotypes but could certainly be argued to be hair discrimination or even gender discrimination.
We staunchly believe men and boys should wear their hair however long they choose.
Bullying, Gender Norms and Hair Discrimination
This topic goes far deeper than school policies, from bullying, adults and external expectations of parents, to forced cutting, gender norms, kids who grow their hair for donating to charity and much more. In May we published an original independent study examining these topics.
Citing comments from moms, interviews, curated content from around the internet, outside research and our own experiences, we tackle these issues head-on, highlighting some of the key layers and revealing what is happening.
A candid examination of bullying, gender norms and selfless acts of kindness. Every parent of a boy with long hair needs to see this. #doitfortheboys
No child should be denied their education due to the length of their hair.
Our mission is simply this: to help boys with long hair, their parents, outsiders, and the rest of the world see that it’s ok to be different—and to show all the boys out there they finally have a place to go.
An excerpt from our letter to the boys:
For every bully who makes fun of you, or says you look like a girl, or gives you grief about your hair, just know there is a community of tens of thousands of men and boys with long hair right here.
They’re big and small, old and young, every color of skin, from every background. They are football, baseball and basketball players, world-changing scientists, CEOs and business professionals, drummers and musicians, action sports heros, US Presidents, courageous warriors, entrepreneurs, fashion experts, coffee roasters, custodians, architects and everything under the sun.
That’s only the short list, because there are men and boys with long hair all around the world. And they’re regular guys. Who choose to be different.
We may have nothing else in common with any of those guys…but we all have long hair. And it means something to all of us.
To show all the boys out there they finally have a place to go.
Show Your Support
Show your support by leaving a comment below, sharing this post, and by visiting both Jabez and Habib’s online petitions to change the respective school district policies banning their locks.
Comments
My children attend private Catholic school in Northern New York. My son, grade 3, has been told his hair does not meet dress code rules as it is below the collar by an inch and needs to be cut. I need help finding out what rights we have and help making a petition to change the hair policy. Thank you.
Yo AG! We are sad to hear this. Here is a collection of best practices, along with case profiles of other families in similar circumstances. Hope this helps, we will be interested to hear any updates!
The Pursuit of Hair Equality
Overcoming Discriminatory Dress Codes
Edinburg,Tx.
My son is starting his junior year in high school & they just changed their dress code policy at his school (district). We’ve been waiting for years so he could go to high school where we thought they’d let him finally wear his hair long and now 2 years in they change policies to have him wear his hair above the shoulders. I know this is going to mess with his feelings… it’s happened before when he was younger and he was devastated. If anyone has any advice… I’ve been looking all over the internet for laws or rights that may allow him to keep his hair long. This hasn’t interfered with his studies in the past… he’s learned much more grooming techniques with his long hair vs when he had short hair. And yes I do find this gender discriminatory… but what do I do?
Hi Sara, that is terrible to hear. But thank you for sharing because you’re in the right place. Have you seen this more recent article about boys in Texas? https://blog.thelonghairs.us/discriminatory-dress-codes/
I totally feel you. I am in the shoe, my boy have to have his hair cut because the school policy is hair length have to be above the collar. Boy with long hair is the child personality and it’s who they are. This is so discrimination.
Hi, Karen here. I have three sons and they each have long hair. Here in Texas, we too have a dress code at my son’s school that I feel is restricting. I feel that my sons Kyle, Gary, and Joshua, should be allowed to express their masculinity as five year old’s by having as long of hair as they want.
In addition, girls shouldn’t be allowed to have hair that goes further than their hips. Also, girls shouldn’t be allowed to wear bikinis at the beach if they have long hair. It’s too suggestive for my sons! They’ll just stare.
You are speaking to the choir Karen! Fully agree with your assertions.
Were you aware of this notice from the Texas ACLU? https://www.aclutx.org/en/press-releases/aclu-texas-urges-school-districts-remove-discriminatory-dress-code-requirements
The ACLU warned Texas school districts that a lawsuit would be coming if they didn’t change their policies.
I haven’t checked back on the status of this lately so I’m not sure where it stands.
Would love to keep some dialogue going. Best wishes to you and your family in the meantime!
My son wanted to grow his hair, but his school’s policy was that boy’s hair must not touch the collar. He wrote this letter to his headmaster, and the school listened to his views and then changed their policy to allow boys to grow their hair long. Change is possible, if those in authority are prepared to be open-minded.
TRANSCRIPT OF LETTER TO HEADMASTER
“I am writing this letter to ask you to consider allowing boys to grow their hair long.
“At the current time, the school policy on appearance is that boys must have short hair. Personally I feel this is wrong. You are saying that because you were born a boy then you must have short hair, whereas girls have a choice of long or short hair. I do not feel that we should use outdated rules of the past on gender stereotyping, and lots of men and boys in this country and all around the world have long hair.
“There are many reasons why boys might choose to have long hair. They might just like how it looks, or there might be other reasons for example: religion, gender identity (e.g. non-binary children), or to support a charity cause (e.g. growing your hair to donate it to the Little Princess Trust to help children with cancer). Identity and appearance is very important to pre-teens and teenagers, and I think boys at the Senior School should be given a choice about whether to have their hair long or short, just the same as girls do.
“There is no reason why a boy with long hair cannot appear neat, tidy, and smart. To follow the school rules about hair not being in their eyes, and for safety reasons in science, boys can keep their hair in a ponytail, a ‘man bun’, or a plait. Some famous sportsmen, for example David Beckham, wore a headband to keep their hair out of their eyes when playing sport.
“Thank you for reading my letter. I hope you will give serious thought about how it is not right to allow girls to have long hair, but make boys cut theirs short. This is the 21st century and we should all try to be as fair as possible, and not discriminatory based on someone’s gender.”
Banned? Of course not!! The boys should and must be judged not by the length of the hair, but by what Dr. King called “the content of their character”.
Since I consider the First Nations people who embrace, preserve, honor, respect, and pass on their culture, traditions and heritage to be among the most beautiful people in North America, I find this item about a boy banned from school to be especially sad. I found in a long hair website a Native American boy who was five years old with long, beautifully epic braids, and unfortunately living or having lived in rural Texas where school administrators are stuck in the 50s. Their parents had to choose for him either school or his culture. To the Oyaté parents facing a similar situation with your sons, let them, and you as well, continue to embrace your traditions and heritage even if it means that nobody accepts them and they be home schooled. Do not let the fools stuck in the Eisenhower era take any part of their culture; instead, they should flaunt it proudly and defiantly. The boys should keep rocking their beautiful, beautiful braids for life. A’ho!
When I was in school this kind of shit was rampant… and after high school 99% of places I applied for work flat told me they wouldn’t hire me because my hair was too long… it caused me bug problems at home, in trying to get my life started, I got treated like a kid when I was well into adulthood… I may not be as successful as I could have been. I may have more of an attitude or chip on my shoulder than I should… but I’m 54 years old now and still have hair down to my ass. And I don’t intend to cut it…. had I not experienced that discrimination, it’s likely I would have cut my hair for whatever reason at some point. But it was the assholes that made such an issue out of something that shouldn’t ever have been one that made me keep it long. And looking back it’s been a blessing. I still look 20 years younger than I am. I still dress like I did in 1983– only now I can buy skinny jeans off the rack instead of taking them to a tailor— I’ve had the good fortune to enjoy spending time with many different lovely and interesting women while most of the guys I know just got fat and old. I made the right choice by sticking to my guns.
Nobody should be able to f**k with who you want to be. Especially over something that is as unimportant as what you look like. Be a decent human being. That’s whats really important!
Amen, bro!!
I was told by my high school that I had to cut my hair when it was only 5 inches. I still waited 3 more months….
Say you have long hair as part of your religion. Religion is protected by law. Long hair on a male could be considered religious practice.
My family and I just moved down to Brackettville TX from AR. I am finding out about the hair issue. One of my 11 yr old sons wants to grow his hair back out and I have been letting him. But now the school is saying he has to cut it. That the only boys that can have long hair are Native American boys. I am looking for help with this because I do not feel that it is right. If my son wants long hair he can have long hair!! I have always raised my children to be who they want to be. I want them to be comfortable in their own skin. I DO NOT feel it is right for a school to have the power to make me a lair to my child, to tell my child how long he can or cannot have his hair, and to contradict how I have raised him!! Any advice or help is welcome!!
My son has beautiful long hair running down his back. He will start kinder in a yr and already I’m being asked if I will be cutting his hair because of “dress code”. NO. He loves it just like I do. If girls can wear their hair long so can boys. Try me school district, I dare you.
Glad to have you here Jenna!! Glad to hear your are holding the line. Wondering where you’re located?
Send your son some hair whips & high fives from The Longhairs!
I believe that laws should be passed to deal with hair discrimination. The only jurisdiction that I know of that banned hair discrimination for everybody is New York City. It was prompted by discrimination against Black people who have hair texture and hairstyles different from the mainstream, but the New York City Human Rights Commission expanded it for everyone. That includes banning employers from making separate hair policies for men and women. I hope it expands into other jurisdictions.
We are dealing with this now. My son is a Jr in High School and has always had long hair. This year he is being told he has to cut it above shoulder length, although he didn’t cut his hair once last year. Our school haws maybe 600 students with pre K thru High School all on one campus. Even a teacher has long hair and isnt made to cut it.
Contacting you directly on the RED PHONE.
To many appearance is more important then personality. I think that we live in a society made by old rules. Is time to change that. this boys have his own personality with the long hair, why should you private of been what they real want to be?. Let “him” be.
I am 11 years old and fighting the same thing at my school in Sanger, TX.
Interesting. Their policies state, “The District prohibits discrimination, including harassment, on the basis of race, color, religion, GENDER (my caps added), national origin, age, disability, or any other basis prohibited by law.”
Then, it goes on to say, “The grooming regulations below are expected to be followed by all JISD students:
1. Boys’ hair should not extend beyond the following limits:
a. Front – Hair/Bangs, when combed straight down, must not be longer than the top
of the eyebrows. Side – The entire ear may be covered but should not exceed the
corner of the jawbone on the sides. Sideburns should not be more than one-half
inch below the bottom of the ear lobe.
b. Back – Hair must be cut so that it is no longer than the bottom of the dress shirt
collar or top of a t- shirt collar.
2. Boys’ hair will not be worn in tails, ponytails, or buns.”
If you can’t discriminate based on gender, how can you specify how a certain gender dresses or wears their hair? Sounds to me like gender discrimination… Hypocrisy.
Long hair on a male could be considered religious practice and be protected by religion.
this is my favorite one so far. it is absolutely correct. thankfully my school is fine with men having long hair.
My grandson is 11 years old wears his hair long style neatly comb back behind ears a few inches longer that his neck. Was accepted at catholic school and 2 days after school started he was told by his teacher he has to gut his hair above his collar. During the enrollment time 6 months we were never told anything about his hair or given any information regarding the school rules. Orientation day for new parents no word was mentioned.
He is been wearing his hair like this since he was 4 years old. He is definitely a boy play baseball and wants to be a profesional baseball player one day. He is a intelligent eager great student letters from previous teacher and principal were given to the school as part of the protocol for acceptance to this catholic school. He is very sad today when he was approached by the teacher like is something wrong with his looks. Trust me is a very good looking clean cut groomed. He looks like any of the baseball players that he follows very manly I must say. I am very troubled by this situation and I feel this rules should have been disclosed during the enrollment period months ago.
This is clearly discrimination against boys. Girls can have short hair as short as they like why can boys have longer style hair? This is gender descriminstion.
My grandson is 11 years old wears his hair long style neatly comb back behind ears a few inches longer that his neck. Was accepted at a catholic school and 2 days after school started he was told by his teacher he has to cut his hair above his collar. During the enrollment time 6 months we were never told anything about his hair or given any information regarding the school rules. Orientation day for new parents no word was mentioned.
He is been wearing his hair like this since he was 4 years old. He is definitely a boy, play baseball and wants to be a profesional baseball player one day. He is a intelligent and eager student. Various letters from previous teacher and principal were given to the school as part of the protocol for acceptance to this catholic school. He is very sad today when he was approached by the teacher like is something wrong with his looks. Trust me is a very good looking clean cut groomed young man. He looks like any of the baseball players that he follows very manly I must say. I am very troubled by this situation and I feel this rules should have been disclosed during the enrollment period months ago.
This is clearly discrimination against boys. Girls can have short hair as short as they like why can boys have longer style hair? This is clear gender discrimination.
I stand for this boys because I have a 6 year old son grade 1 since birth we didnt cut his hair but many big girls like him the problem is bullying in thats why I told to the school you accepted my son or Im gonna sue this school you dont have any standard tolerable hair cut rules that you propose to all male student and I saw some bald and undercut hair of male student studying in that school that is unfair
We stand with them too!
Control at what cost…. Policy’s that have to teach grooming should not start with cuttting it off. Bullying 101 do not give in to the tyranny. We know there is no fair world but our right will not be taken.. we will fight and stand together
Glad to have you with us Crissy!
My nephew is fixing to be 11 years old and he attends Eustace isd in tx. He was sent home 2 days in a row saying he had to cut his hair to look like a boy. His hair comes to his neck line and barley comes to his eyebrows. When i called the school i was told we had one week to cut or he was being kicked out. He has ADD, ADHD, and Autisim. He wants long hair and when we told him it had to be cut he had a massive meltdown. Mind you yes he does have bad days but so far this year none but if are forced to cut his hair he wont have just one bad day hell have alot and the school he is attending already doesnt want him there because of his meltdowns. How do i fix this?
Hi Shawn, happy to hear from you, sad to hear about the situation in Eustace. Forgive the late reply, but what happened with your nephew? Did he end up cutting it?
Stumbled across this after researching the subject. So happy to see this. My son (6 years old) Cruz, was just made to either cut his hair at the academy I placed him in, here in Kauai, Hawaii or he couldn’t attend. I withdrew him the same day. Discriminatory and is bullying. I definitely stand with you guys and agree, schooling and learning should have nothing to do with the length of your hair🙁 So glad to see I’m not the only one!
Glad to have you here Jess! Sad to hear about what happened with Cruz, I’m actually surprised in Hawaii? In any case we’re glad to hear he didn’t cut it. Stick with us, we stand for the little guys! Send Cruz a hailstorm of hairwhips from The Longhairs.
Very happy I’m using this article for my argument essay about dress codes! Thanks so much
Super cool! Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Mackenzie!
We’d love to see your essay when it’s completed! Please come back and share it 🙂
I have an update!
As of this school year, Samson is for the first time ever, enrolled and attending a school outside of the home.
He is going to a small public charter school, which thus far has been fantastic.
One of the best parts being…. ZERO POLICIES ON HAIR! There is nothing in their handbook for boys or girls, and how they can have their hair. I have seen girls with blue hair, boys with mo-hawks, and my little longhair fits in fantastically.
This is a school in a small, rural Arizonan town (with a strong religious influence, I might add.) .
So if we can look past the physical stereotypes here, I have hope that change will come elsewhere.
Great update! We are so so happy to hear this!
Congrats!
You guys are talented and enterprising…you should write a children’s book. “Billy Has Long Hair” or something. You know the issues to address. Include famous longhairs, not okay to bully for hair styles, confidence in being your own person, etc.
I know it’s like banging your head against a wall to get institutions to change policies to the current century. Sometimes you have to speak in children’s vocabulary to make adults understand, and education usually has more effect than confrontation.
Interesting. A kid’s book could be really fun.
Would anyone imagine the Founding Fathers (all long hair dudes) being banned of school because of their hair length?
As a long hair dude and proud father of a 7 year old long hair dude, we stand with the little guys! Here is to a ban on senseless rules!
There are worthwhile battles the schools need to focus on fighting – depriving these boys of an education is not one of them. It is unbelievable to me that a dress code would be enforced knowing the end result only hurts a child.
I stand with these little guys.
Always nonsense when this happens. Long hair has nothing to do with learning, cleanliness, attitude, etc. The boys should be left alone to grow their hair and let if flow long and free!
There is no more reason a boy should be forced to cut his hair than a girl or anyone else.
Leave the long hair alone!
As a professional educator, a parent, and a woman seriously involved with a “longhair, I support these boys, and their family position. Clearly the handbook and attitude is outdated and shortsighted . Quality of education has nothing to do with hair length, and everything to do with content of character, attitude, and effort…and that goes for the educators too…
Ridiculous. Teach grooming and hygiene?! They must be deluded, those kids have awesome, well kept, healthy looking manes. I thought mine looked good, but those lads put me to shame.
It’s an archaic rule which only reinforces outdated gender stereotypes that do nothing but cause harm. Hair length has no effect on learning, and the rules should reflect that.