This One’s For You, Mom

In Advocate by El Rubio23 Comments

To The Moms of Boys With Long Hair

Happy Mother’s Day to every mom, but especially the moms of boys with long hair (and those who “tolerate” long hair on their "older" boys 😉).

You’ve supported our flow through tangles, bullies and grief from strangers. We’re grateful for your encouragement through the awkward stage (even though you secretly wanted us to cut it), tolerating our manes in the family photos, and all the frequent hair tips.

We appreciate all you’ve done, but also what you’ve had to endure! From mean comments to discriminatory dress codes, we have heard a lot of stories from moms.

Here are just a few of the comments, stories and situations we've heard about from moms of boys with long hair.

 

What Moms Tolerate

“I’m the proud mom of a newly-minted 6th-grader, who came home on day 2 of school asking to get a haircut because he got teased in science lab for his long hair.”
“My 5-year-old son is dealing with bullies over his beautiful long blonde hair. ”
“Our 10-year-old son has been called sweetie, cutie, and complemented on “how pretty her hair is...” ”
Moms of Boys With Long Hair: Chase, 9, with long blonde hair, a black ball cap and a big smile.
 
“My son is 11 and has had long hair most of his life. He has recently been talking about cutting it off before starting middle school. He said he is tired of being bullied & told he looks like a girl. ”
“I never even questioned whether my two boys “should” grow their hair out. Of course they can grow their hair out … because they WANT to. Done. End of story.”
“A woman passive aggressively commented to someone in front of me ABOUT my son, “come on, you have to cut a boy’s hair eventually.” Um, actually no, you do not.”
 
Arthur eating a cookie, smiling, featured in 'Moms of Boys With Long Hair'.
“He was even asked by two [of his] instructors if he was a girl.”
“He managed to pass the awkward stage at age 10, and since then for the last two years has been called a girl at least once a day.”
“I’m so tired of my son being shamed for having long hair. I’m tired of the snide comments. I’m tired of him being called “she” when he’s clearly dressed as a boy. I’m tired of him questioning himself because he feels like he needs approval from others.”
Moms of Boys With Long Hair: a Hoyer boy repping the blue and gold thin headbands.
 
“I’m not sure he’s ever met another boy with long hair.”
“He asked to grow it almost a year ago and I just said sure. Now I’m constantly getting complaints from all the older men in our family. He’s so happy with his hair. And plans to donate it when he’s ready to cut it, in honour of his uncle who died this year.”
“After a very bad bullying experience, we left that school at the end of 3rd grade.”
 
A handsome young man in a suit and dress hat, featured in 'Moms of Boys With Long Hair'.
“It is the handful of adults who feel compelled to be mean to a child they have no need to interact with in any way that most astound me.”
“I agree that the most rude comments come from adults! They are actually angry over it which I will never understand. I love my son’s beautiful curls, short or long. I just want him to be himself.”
“When he was 5 & went to kindergarten was when the real bullying started from kids. The kids (mostly the boys) were ruthless, always calling him a girl. Unfortunately that school wasn’t very good dealing with bullies & suggested I cut his hair to stop the torment. Um, no!”
Moms of boys with long hair have to deal with a lot of grief, which you can see on Wiley's face here.
 
“I have even been asked, “are you trying to make him gay?” ”
“He is getting big enough to think it’s funny when they call him a girl. I often tell him it’s because he’s so handsome.”
“The worst is definitely the comments from strangers. That’s something only other longhairs and the parents of longhair boys can understand!!”
 
Moms of Boys With Long Hair: Liam, 8, with a hat from The Longhairs.
“We have used his long hair as a learning experience. We now know how it feels to be criticized and judged, and it has given us a broad spectrum of compassion and empathy for others.”

Happy Mother’s Day from The Longhairs

Good grief. Is it hard enough to be a parent without others questioning your parenting??

Whatev! Here at The Longhairs we have your back, and there are a lot of other moms here who understand and have your back too.

A little extra shout out to moms of boys with long hair today. Kick your feet up, don’t do any chores, take a break from momin for a minute and just relax.

We offer support and encouragement to men and boys with long hair...and their moms! See all our posts about Little Guys With Long Hair

 
Group shot about 15 longhairs the night before The Great Cut. All the kids of moms of boys with long hair!
 

Who Are These Guys?

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A community for guys with long hair, advocates, supporters and friends. We publish tips, advocate for hair equality, and celebrate men’s long manes with hair whips and high fives.
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As Seen on Shark Tank


Season 9, Ep. 16: we walked down that hallway and we pitched. Part of the Mark Cuban Companies portfolio.
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World Record Holders


In 2019 we broke the Guinness World Records™ title for the most hair donated to charity in 24 hours.
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The Great Cut 2024


A world record charity hair-cutting event. Our goal: 10,000 haircuts for kids who can’t grow hair.

Comments

  1. I noticed that a lot of the comments in the article are about boys who started sixth grade. It’s a hard time for a lot of kids. After spending five years with the same classmates and circle of friends, they are suddenly surrounded by strangers, a lot of whom are not very nice. This is when the bullying goes up. Hopefully, the long haired boys will get through it and keep letting it ride instead of cutting their hair so they could fit in.

    Also, I saw a video of a boy who, before going to school, rehearses his responses to whatever insults he might get because of his hair. Great idea! More long haired boys should do that and be prepared for the day.

  2. “Are you trying to make him gay?”

    Bruh, clearly that guy’s never seen a gay man’s hair.

  3. I think that people who say things like “Parents who encourage their child to “be different” are lacking in self-esteem.” are the ones lacking in self-esteem. Parents should be able to freely encourage their kids to be whoever they want to be without being judged by strangers (who probably don’t even have kids anyway).

    It amazes me how much time people spend being rude and insulting for no earthly reason. If you don’t someone’s long hair or how they look or dress…don’t look at it, keep your mouth closed, and keep walking.

    Thanks Longhairs for continuing to work toward hair equality. Nobody should be bullied or mistreated for the way they look.

  4. It just amazes me that in today’s society of “you must accept me” how many narrow minded people we have out there. Throughout history men have had long hair. It wasn’t until relatively recent that short hair on men was the norm. If it’s not hurting you at all, keep your opinions to yourself. I’m just now (at almost 45) growing my hair long. Work commitments kept my hair short. My youngest son has decided to grow his hair long. We’ve had the discussion that people are mean and very well could say things. He doesn’t care one bit and I absolutely support that.

  5. Feeling sorry for those little boys growing up with this “albatross around their neck” (Mom’s who are mentally unstable and insecure within themselves.) A child who experiences constant encounters (odd looks and comments) from his peers and others eventually finds himself isolated and withdraws. Parents who encourage their child to “be different” are lacking in self-esteem. Drawing attention through their child, gives them what they themselves lack in character.

    1. Author

      Hmmm not sure I agree with you one hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.

    2. Jensen ur comment seems short-sighted. Im surfing the web because I don’t want to cut my infant son’s hair. Many cultures have many reasons for this…mine is that we don’t have a reason To cut it. Other than short sighted and judgmental people. And I’m not about to live my life afraid of ignorance nor do I intend to teach my children to. I’ll let his wonderful curls grow until I feel the Need to cut them for Our own reasons. That’s not insecurity or mental illness. It’s strength, confidence, and faith. And I think that makes me a pretty good mommy…

  6. My son has always had long hair and does not want to cut it. He is almost 6 now, and has been told “long hair is for girls” among other similar comments, mostly from other children. He simply brushes it off and tells them he “likes to rock out!” \\m//

    1. My nearly 8 year old son has always loved his long, blonde hair. It is waist length and he gets lots of compliments on it. Last night, for the first time he mentioned cutting it off. He wants it in a Bob like one of his friends who I’m pretty sure is trying to grow his. I will be upset to see his beautiful hair go, but his sister won’t as wants to be the only one with lovely long hair

  7. Its taken lots of encouragement on my part to keep my son’s hair long. He used to get so much pressure from other kids but he’s grown past that and we’ve settled on a length we keep it: about 3-4″ past his shoulders. I love it and he likes it pretty much as well.

    He has an aunt who is a hair stylist with whom he is very close. She’s got him to let her play with his hair and sometimes he’ll have the most beautiful waves or ringlets. Of course, that’s only in private but at the age of 10 he’s become quite secure in his boyhood and wil evenl let his aunt put it up on rollers on occasion. It’s the best !

    1. Author

      Thanks for writing in and sharing Jacklyn! Feel free to send your pictures on our social media, or at least the ones Jr. approves of!

  8. the public stupidity is not dead in the USA: https://youtu.be/IGR9VXYn-g0 ….
    as said the theater author Paul Claudel: ” la tolérance, il y a des maisons pour” ( tolerance is only for the prostitution locations), before abolishing those nest shelters…

  9. I’m pretty sure I hit every branch during my fall from the Ugly Tree. As a child I heard it all. Buck-toothed, big-eared, four-eyed, skinny and frail. I didn’t have a choice in how I looked. I suspect that a boy who chooses to have long hair in spite of any teasing, has already developed a sense of self-worth that some people never achieve. I’ve never seen a photo of a boy with long hair who doesn’t look confident and happy. Otherwise, he would probably ask for a haircut.

    I didn’t have a choice in my hair style until I was 17. Kudos to the moms and dads who let their boys decide. As for the teasing, I think some parents make more of it than the kids do. (It’s your job, right?) Honestly, I don’t recall my feelings being hurt by any of the name calling. It’s just something kids do. Kids also learn fairly early that no one really likes bullies and it’s best to ignore them and to not be like them. As Samson’s mom said, “Let them handle it.”

    Yes, The Longhairs are a great help to boys of all ages. It’s your hair boys, let it ride.

  10. If it wasn’t for my son-Mother’s day wouldn’t have happen for me. Like I’ve said before to El Rubio and
    El Moreno.. thank you so much for being an amazing role model to my son Jack (you remember Jack lol )..I have been a single mom since he was two and having all you guys-this fraternity..this family has meant the world to him!! And his hair has grown out gorgeous!! Thank you♥️
    -Ilene

  11. The mom’s comments were great to read. I wish them all a great Mothers day. I’m a 66 year old male and have been letting my hair grow for 3 years and it is now over my shoulder. Even now at my age I get the woman comments and just let it slide. I also get great comments from guy’s. I just wish people would concentrate on more important things and look into there own lives and stay out of places they don’t belong. I believe negative comments from others is that they wish they had the hair themselves.

  12. Aww you guys 😉 You’ve outdone yourselves yet again.
    He’s still referred to as a girl everyday, we honestly don’t care anymore. He just brushes it off. There was an incident the other evening though at the skate park with another boy calling him names and teasing him. I had a hard time biting my tongue, but sometimes I think it’s better for him to handle it himself. Which he did, by ignoring him and then showing off his mad scooter skills. 😉
    Now as I gracefully change the subject back to my original point….
    These boys make all of this possible. Mother’s Day wouldn’t exist without them. They are what make us mothers in the first place.
    And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

  13. Thank you! We have to encourage our boys to be who they want to be and to see whatever goals they have in life be achieved.

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