And What To Say
You may have heard some of these, you may have heard all of them. Almost certainly you’ve heard at least one of these comments about your hair.
Some funny, some complimentary, some inflammatory, for whatever reason some folks just feel compelled to share their feelings or suggestions regarding your mane. Here are the most common, with musings on their meaning—and how I might respond.
The Top 10 Comments About Your Hair
1. When are you gonna get a haircut?
Less egregious than flat out telling you to cut it, perhaps intended as a polite suggestion, I prefer to respond as though it’s a serious question:
Depends on what you mean. I get a maintenance trim every four to six months, and, well, thanks for noticing, yes I suppose I might be due for one soon. If you mean like cut it short, I don’t intend to until 2024 when I’m going to shave my head and donate 30 inches for kids who can’t grow hair. If you start growing now you’re welcome to join us?
Responding so literally shows you’ve given it some thought while often disarming the commenter. If anything they’ll feel like a jerk for not caring about kids.
2. Excuse me, miss?
A common misunderstanding rooted in historical gender norms, this can be understood. Usually when they realize they’re speaking to a man they’re immediately sheepish and apologetic, but still an opportunity to have some fun with them.
Not my first time being mistaken for a woman, I’m sure you’re used to it also.
3. You look like a girl.
It’s one thing to be mistaken for a woman, another thing to be told to your face you look like a woman. Honestly this doesn’t hurt my feelings, I prefer to throw it back at ‘em.
So are you trying to date me or…? You can definitely buy me a drink, just don’t think about getting fresh buddy.
4. Is that your real hair?
This always seems to occur when wearing a hat. I don’t know why some folks can’t fathom this being my real hair, but they seem to think it’s one of those hats with the hair attached to it. I’ve actually had people insist on pulling it before they’re convinced it’s real.
If it’s real will you buy me a beer?
5. Nice mullet bro.
Another common misconception which also tends to happen while wearing a hat. Sometimes it’s said under their breath to a group of friends, “dude, check out this guy’s mullet.”
It’s not a mullet but thanks!
Removing my hat and ripping off a hailstorm of hair whips clears up any confusion.
6. Do you straighten your hair?
One of the comments about my hair I hear most often. I just have super straight hair, not a wave or a kink in sight. Furthermore, the longer it gets, the weight tends to straighten it out even more. Even on the rare occasion I get it curled it tends to go straight within a couple of hours anyway.
It’s as straight as the sky is blue, and just as dreamy.
7. How do you get your hair like that?
Perhaps more common for guys like El Sergioso, still something I hear from time to time. Again it depends on what they’re talking about...if they mean how straight it is, reference back to the previous comment.
If they mean how do I get it so healthy, golden and lustrous, the answer is that less is more. I only shampoo once a week, I comb and brush delicately, I don’t dye it, bleach it, or treat it with harsh chemicals, and I use apex-level hair care from The Longhairs.
I use The Longhairs' hair care products, and let the good Lord do his work.
8. You should cut your hair.
9. Are you going to donate it?
10. NICE HAIR MAN!
Those are the top 10 comments I get about my hair. When people make comments about your hair, my advice is don't be offended, don't take it too seriously, and try to have some fun with it.
If your long hair bothers someone, that’s their problem. It’s your hair and you can wear it how you like it. Above all, rock it with confidence.
Who are you guys, and why do you care about my hair?
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