Longhairs of The MCU

In Advocate by El Chuckarino7 Comments

The Mighty Thor Odinson is Far From the Only Longhair on This List

During the past 10 years, Marvel Studios has accomplished something nobody has before: they created the largest cinematic universe the world has ever seen.

Now we’ve accomplished something nobody has before: compiled a thoroughly comprehensive list of Marvel movie characters with long hair, big and small, hero or villain, from awkward stage to flowing super-mane.

Join us as we journey through the Phases of the MCU, from Phase 1 all the way to Thor Ragnarok.

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Editorial Notes:

At the time of this publication, Black Panther had not yet been digitally released, nor had Infinity War hit the big screen. The 17 movies leading up are included, plus a few honorable mentions from the TV series. Characters are shown in order of appearance.

WARNING:

Hair spoilers for Iron Man 3 and Thor Ragnarok ahead.

PHASE 1

Computer Nerd/Amadeus Cho – The Incredible Hulk

The first official Marvel movie character with long hair is technically in a deleted scene. This man praises the pizza delivery man, Bruce Banner, as a hero. For bringing pizza.
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Ivan Vanko/Whiplash – Iron Man 2

Maybe if Iron Man 2’s main antagonist spent a little less time trying to destroy Tony Stark, and a little more time washing that hair, he’d be happier.
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Ivan Vanko’s Cellmate – Iron Man 2

It really took us out of the movie when they showed one longhair betraying another. That wouldn’t happen in real life.
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Thor Odinson – Thor 1, 2, 3, Avengers 1, 2, 3

The Mighty Thor, Son of Odin, God of Thunder, Our favorite Avenger. We know, his hair got cut, AGAINST HIS WILL! You will pay, Stan Lee, you will pay.
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Odin AllFather/Borson – Thor 1, 2, 3

Thor’s legendary father. Wise and powerful King of Asgard.
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Loki Laufeyson – Thor 1, 2, 3, Avengers 1, 3

Thor’s adoptive brother, secret frost giant, god of mischief.
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Volstagg – Thor 1, 2, 3

Great friend to Thor, 1 of the Warriors 3. He and his red mane helped stop Loki from stealing the Asgardian throne. Slaughtered by the Goddess of Death, Hela. RIP
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Hogun – Thor 1, 2, 3

Great friend to Thor, 1 of the Warriors 3. We get to watch him go from a small top knot to an incredible flow throughout these 3 movies. Also slaughtered by Hela. RIP
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The Foldover Extra – Thor

Blink and you’ll miss him. We had to include this longhair because of that SICK foldover. You see it as he turns his head to admire Volstagg’s mane while walking down that street in New Mexico.
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Tower Keeper – Captain America: The First Avenger

You may recognize this man/mane from such classic roles as Argus Filch in Harry Potter or the devious Walder Frey from Game of Thrones. Here he does an absolute bang up job of protecting the Tesseract (Space Stone) from Johann Schmidt aka Red Skull.
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PHASE 2

Y2K Happy Hogan – Iron Man 3

Here we have the absolute privilege of seeing Tony Stark’s best friend and head of security lettin’ it ride with a sick 90’s mullet.
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Aldrich Killian/The Mandarin – Iron Man 3

Blonde curls don’t work for everybody, but they work here for AK. We’re sure Iron Man 3’s main antagonist donated those locks before becoming a super baddie.
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Trevor Slattery/The Mandarin – Iron Man 3

A longhair, with a good heart, who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. T-Dog is just trying to party!
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Killian’s Bodyguard – Iron Man 3

2 words: Ponytail Express.
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Malekith – Thor: The Dark World

The King of the Dark Elves. We’re not huge fans of this evil being, but those braids are sick.
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Algrim Dark Elf – Thor: The Dark World

Malekith’s right hand man. See Malekith’s description.
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King Bor – Thor: The Dark World

Grandpa Bor is responsible for pushing back the Dark Elves and passing on those follicle genes to the likes of Odin and Thor.
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Pretty Much ALL the Dark Elves – Thor: The Dark World

They’re lettin’ it ride, boys. Gotta give it to them.
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Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier/White Wolf – Captain America 1, 2, 3, Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War

After *leaving the military, Bucky let loose. He’s almost completely done with the awkward stage by Captain America: The Winter Soldier. He and his mane will now help defend Wakanda from the Outriders in Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War
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Aaron, Apple Guy – Captain America: The Winter Soldier

A mane like this doesn’t go unnoticed, Aaron. You’re the specimen, not Steve.
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Horuz’s Mate – Guardians of The Galaxy

You’re about to find out just how much the Ravagers are down with the flow. It starts here, with Horuz’s Mate. I mean look at that silver flow!
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Prisoner with Dreads – Guardians of The Galaxy

Free these dreads from the Kyln Space Prison!
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One Eyed Ravager – Guardians of The Galaxy

He may only have 1 eye, but he’s got a full head of lettuce!
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Luis’ Cousin Ernesto – Ant-Man

Ernesto’s got tips, like LEGIT insider information. You think he’s got some good tips for curly hair? Like, super legit tips?
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PHASE 3

Kaecilius – Doctor Strange

This master of the mystic arts is also a master of the flow. We respect his rise against the no hair contingency. That means you, Ancient One.
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Doctor Strange – Doctor Strange

You were almost there, Stephen. Forget everything you think you know about hair. If you just held on a little longer! Oh well.
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Hamir – Doctor Strange

Not the Ancient One. But a legendary longhair that manipulates magic with one hand and an incredible high-ball.
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TaserFace – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Come on, bro! That’s the name you picked? We included TaserFace because he grew it out even though it’s just down the middle. It looks like he may be incapable of growing it out on the sides due to some serious burns.
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Ego – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

A living planet, a Kurt Russell incarnation, Peter Quill aka Star Lord’s dad, and a longhair. Very involved in the expansion of his hair-itage.
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Basically ALL of the Ravager Bros – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Watching this movie. We almost lost count. Let’s just say, there’s a lot of longhairs in the Galaxy.
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Jason – Spiderman: Homecoming

Don’t worry about getting turned down by Betty for homecoming. With hair like that, you’ve got options, bro!
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Aaron Davis – Spiderman: Homecoming

This laidback longhair and small time crook is the guy we hope introduces Peter Parker to his nephew, Miles.
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Vulture Henchmen – Spiderman: Homecoming

Make sure to tie that hair back, you wouldn’t want to get it caught in one of those dangerous Chitauri weapons.
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Prisoner – Spiderman: Homecoming

You think I’m just gonna let this one pass by? Kudos to this bro with the flow.
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Heimdall – Thor: Ragnarok

We waited for this one, like we waited for Heimdall to grow his hair out. The gatekeeper of Asgard sports a full head of dreads in Thor 3.
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Awkward Stage Captain America – Avengers: Infinity War

We’d be stoked to see Cap become one of the Marvel movie characters with long hair. Yo, Cap! You need an incubator? Hit us up. We’ve got you covered. We’re stoked that you have started this journey. We didn’t realize it would take as much trauma as Civil War brought on to get you to let loose a little bit. Let us know when you’re ready for a hair tie. We’re looking forward to seeing a mane from you that would put Thor to shame. If you survive, that is.
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Stan Lee

Hey Stan, we’re thankful you like, created all these characters. But cutting off Thor’s mane was seriously uncool. Beware of the Marvel boss, and his wild sheers.
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Honorable Mentions from MCU TV:

Foggy Nelson – DareDevil

Matthew Murdock’s right hand man, best friend, seeing-eye-guy, and law firm partner.
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Luke Cage – Luke Cage

While Luke Cage was falsely imprisoned, he let it ride. Developing the impressive afro you see here. Even though he normally takes sides with the no-hair contingency, we know he’s a longhair at heart.
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Awkward Stage Punisher – The Punisher

You were THIS CLOSE to growing it all the way out, Frank.
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David Lieberman aka Micro – The Punisher

Micro has the kind of curly thick hair you only read about in books. Yet, he pulls it off with ease. We’re sure this is one of the top 10 features his family missed about him.
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ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??

You thought we were kidding when we said Thor wasn’t the only character on this list. Now that you know all of the Marvel movie characters with long hair (to-date), it’s time to go watch Avengers: Infinity War and see how well our longhaired brethren can defend (or attack…?) Earth.

Our bet is that there are 3-5 longhairs in Avengers: Infinity War. What’s your bet?

Do we miss anyone?

If you’re stoked on The Longhairs and possibly the biggest event in cinematic history, please share this blog with your bros (& sisses). Thanks for reading! C’YA!

El Chuckarino

AKA Charlie Cairncross AKA The Longhairs Social Media Manager Yo Longhairs! You might not know me, but I know all of you. I am a vlogger, a Marvel & DC enthusiast, 1/3rd of The Let It Ride Podcast, and the guy who posts your Mane Updates, Twisted Tuesdays and Hair Whips on Wednesdays! I’d be so stoked if you checked out my YouTube channel and subscribed! Thanks for reading this blog. I’ll see you on the other side.
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Comments

  1. Attempt? HA! There is no try.

    Good job, El Chuckarino. I heard the voice of the Moviefone guy as I was reading.

    I’m at the Bucky stage. Bangs just past my nose. I’ve been waiting for this stage. The best actor with this look was Milo Ventimiglia as Peter Petrelli in hero’s. That rebellious, I don’t give af look. You know the person you’re talking to wants to snip your bangs off right there, and you kind of enjoy their torture.

    I’ve missed a lot of these shows. Is there a site with a good chronological watch list?

  2. This was fun and informative for a 75 year old long hair,
    Man some of those MARVEL guys are uuuggglyyyyy. Long hair or not.

    Hey just wanted to add – All my life I have had various hairstyles of the times.
    Crew Cut, Princeton, Afro Perm, Shoulder Length, Shaved Head. I saw your website and how to take care of long hair.
    Bought your bands and let the white grow. It’s now about 14 Inches feels good and very liberating. OK OK it’s not as thick or luxurious as you guys or the guy who posts ‘Mane Updates’ but it’s cool and MY hippy reflection.

  3. A couple years ago I cut off almost 20 inches of hair to donate and I’ve decided to grow it out again. I found the Longhairs doing some research and I’m thrilled because this is a solid, beautiful organization and this post seals the deal. I’m so ready to start letting it ride. Thank you Longhairs!

  4. Of course, there are MANY who haven’t been in a movie, yet also sport the fantastic locks.

    I am thinking first of Doc Samson here, and yes, although Leonard Samson DID appear in The Incredible Hulk, he didn’t have any of the flowing green we know and love. Fingers crossed that we get him someday. I mean, a hero whose powers grow as his hair gets longer? Don’t YOU feel that way? I know I do sometimes…

    1. Author

      Samson would be SICK to bring to life! I also hope there’s a chance that Adam Warlock has long hair as his character was hinted in Guardians 2.

  5. They might have to recast the part, though. I love Ty Burrell, but he might not have the, ahem, look, required for the Doc, unless they could do some truly mean CGI enhancement.

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