Christian Taylor - wear long hair with confidence

Confidence: The Struggles of a Longhair

In Advocate by El Valiente34 Comments

Long Hair and Confidence

Let's talk about long hair and confidence. We've all been there - you want to try a new way to tie your hair up (or style it). You watched the tutorial, you've even tried it out at home, but when it comes time to rock it in public, it can be intimidating.

"People will laugh," you think. "I can't go out like this."

Wearing your long hair confidently is something that takes time and practice, but once you’ve got it, you can rock any style you want! Here’s my experience (so far) with how to wear long hair with confidence.


The Start

Hi, I'm Christian Taylor. I'm a 16-year-old drummer and tech enthusiast. I started growing my hair out when I was 8 or 9, and it's been a long journey. I'm not exactly sure why I started growing my hair out. I think I just didn't care to get it cut for a while, and it got longer...and longer...and before I knew it I had already passed the awkward stage. After that point, I knew I had to press on and grow out my locks.

I've had my fair share of being picked on because of my style, including adults teasing me. Especially when I was little, I would sometimes get picked on by my peers who didn’t understand. I’ll be honest, I am still learning how to have confidence when it comes to hairstyles at my age.

Even while writing this article I have had experiences with other teenagers my age making fun of me for my preferences and styles. I even asked myself if I really wanted to release this article because I was still struggling with confidence after the final draft, but I’m learning that confidence isn’t a switch—it takes time and builds slowly.

The fact is, I’m making progress, and together we can all support and inspire confidence within each other.


The Conflict

For as long as I can remember, I've always worn my hair down. It just feels natural. Now that I'm older, my friends (for the most part) respect me and my hair. Not everyone loves it, but most everyone tolerates it. I've had some friends tell me "you should do a man bun!" or, "why not try a ponytail?"

Man, do I hate those names. "Gosh, that's so girly!" I thought. "I don't want a ponytail or a man bun. What on earth are people going to say when they see it?"


The Desire and Making the Move

Thankfully The Longhairs have already fixed this problem with better names: the high ball and the men's tail. *Whew*. Anyway, deep down inside I always wanted to try a *cough* high ball, but I never did for the fear of being made fun of.

One night before going to church, I decided it was time, but I had no hair ties. I debated buying some for weeks, but I cringed at the thought of having to visit the women's hair care aisle. I asked my mom to borrow a hair tie, and I tied it up.

To my surprise, the feedback was positive! I had a few giggles, a few looks, but for the most part, people were supportive.


Searching For A Lifeline

I was encouraged by how well it went, so I came home and started searching YouTube for videos about men's long hair. Then I discovered The Longhairs. I immediately began watching the channel, discovered Hair Ties For Guys and placed an order that night.

That night I had a major breakthrough moment: what stopped me from tying my hair up for all of these years? I let a silly fear get the best of me and prevented myself from doing some super rad styles. After discovering The Longhairs and the community around them, I don't feel alone anymore.

Hair Ties For Guys have been a confidence booster. One of the things preventing me from tying my hair up was the thought of wearing those feminine hair ties around my wrist. It just didn't seem "manly."

Now I happily sport Hair Ties For Guys on my wrist every day, and it doesn't even feel like a hair tie! It honestly looks like a stylish bracelet. However, don't let the good looks fool you—the functionality is outstanding.


Wear Your Long Hair With Confidence

If you are hesitating to tie your hair up, don't. Why? Because it's your hair. Do what you want with it. Only the diehard jerks will make fun of you, and luckily there's a handy list on how to respond to them. They don't know what cool hair is anyway 🙂

Part of the fun of having long hair is being able to style it, so don't stop yourself from trying new things. Tying your hair up can be functional too, because let's face it, no one likes eating hair when you are just trying to eat spaghetti.


To The Shorthairs

Not a fan of long hair? That's cool. We get it, you like short hair, and we respect that. Here's my request to you: respect your fellow longhairs! We work hard to maintain the mane and that's the style we've chosen. We respect you, you respect us.

Having long hair is a journey. We are the outcasts, the people who are different. We all have different backgrounds, but we all share a desire to be different and stand out from the crowd. I hope you will walk away inspired and enlightened on how to wear long hair with confidence.


Have you hesitated to tie your hair up? Share your story in the comments, we'd love to chat.

Christian Taylor
About The Author

El Valiente

Christian is a journalist, drummer, and YouTuber with a passion for all things tech. You can find his tech blog here. You can also check out his band here.

Rapping With El Valiente
Are You Losing Your Precious Locks?

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  1. I’m reading this quite a few years later so I’m not sure if anyone even reads these replies, but this was just such a cool post. I’m in high school and a drummer and a Christian (which you didn’t outright say, but you mentioned church and your band’s music talks about God.) so I can relate, (though quite frankly I’m a bad drummer, haven’t had lessons in years and once I quit those, my skill went downhill and I played less and less. I’ve recently decided it’s about time to get good again so this is inspirational. (listening to your band’s music right now) I really appreciate how the music sounds raw, not over-polished. Sounds like real guys making real music! Rock on Longhairs!!!

    1. Author

      Yo Boss! Thanks for checking out the post! Keep up the good work with drumming. I wasn’t playing for a while, but I find that drums are kind of like a bicycle – you never really forget how to play, but you’re rusty if you stop for a bit. Keep practicing and it will come back to you. I’ve gotten back into it recently and have been upgrading some of my gear! Thanks again for stopping by, and rock on.

    2. Best one liner for people making a comment about a pony tail on a guy… And I came up with this on the fly:

      “Yup! And this isn’t my ONLY horse-like feature!” 😉

      Works like a charm..and sine of the girls may get a bit curious too!

  2. I am reminded of a Native American quote that you respect other people’s religions and expect others to respect yours. The same can be said about hair; respect how others wear their hair and expect others to respect how you wear yours.

  3. Hi,
    My name’s Greyson and I am a thirteen year old eighth grader, four years into middle school. As you may know, middle school can be a trying time where anything but conformity is made fun of. I pushed through however. Like you, I would always wear my hair down. Putting it up just seemed too feminine. This pnast year however, lots of girls were telling me to put it in a man bun. Eventually, I did and haven’t looked back. Nowadays I have girls asking to braid it, whick I let them. It has been great and this site has given me all the confidence I need.
    Thank you,

    1. Author

      Hey Greyson, that’s awesome! I’m glad to hear that you aren’t letting the world define you and are rocking the sick flow. Keep letting it ride!

  4. Really felt the same way now going strong being a Longhair & keeping it wavy ,
    Rock on love the inspiration everyone’s story has

  5. I was super nervous to rock a manbun the first few times. However the response I got was 100% positive. Girls loved it and my guy friends didn’t care.

    1. Author

      That’s great man! The more I try styles, the more I find that most people don’t care and some people think it’s awesome.

  6. Oh, and let’s not forget Cher’s response when asked about the extent of her plastic surgery:

    “If I want to put my tits on my back, it’s nobody’s business but my own.” – Cher

    Wear your hair the way you want!

  7. I’m still in the awkward stage – about 7 months.

    (Bear with me to the point…)

    My boss is very conservative, cowboy boots, jeans, long sleeve shirts, male-pattern balding. He’s also an Ammo-Sexual (gun nut). He likes to go hunting a lot. This year he went to South Africa for big game hunting.

    Me, unless I was starving or trying to protect myself from a wild animal attack, I see no reason to shoot an animal. It’s not an activism issue for me, I just don’t get it.

    If anyone is going to ask me “why” I’m growing my hair long it will be my boss. The only answer I have for myself is because I want to. So when he does ask me why I’m growing my hair out, I’ll ask him why he likes to shoot animals.

    For everyone else my answer will be “Why does a dog lick his balls?” – Because he can.

  8. Since my hair was long enough to the it up I just did it .. Now it’s been 2 years and everyday I tie my hair up , but I’m afraid to let it down … My sister says I don’t look good and stuff .. My hair have extreme volume and are wavy any tips to wear it down ?

    1. Author

      Dude, volume and wavy hair isn’t a bad thing! Many people wish their hair had volume and wasn’t flat. You can put some product in your hair to make it a bit less frizzy and “crazy.” The hair serum these guys sell would probably do the trick, I want to try it sometime. Don’t be afraid to let it ride!

  9. Great article. Same as the others.when my hair is up people look but thats it… when its down like yours is in picture. Thats my stare down what the hell is that time…i like it down alot so I take it. Good luck with the band. Nice article. Let it ride brother

  10. Thanks Christian, I’m growing my hair for the first time so I know how you feel. I get comments from my work colleagues, but they’ve all got the same haircut so why listen to them?
    Would have been good to see a picture of you with a high ball.

    1. Author

      Cool, welcome to the party! Yeah, I don’t have any good pictures since I just started doing it! I’ve actually been into braiding it more because (1) it looks sick, and (2) it doesn’t hurt. For some reason a high ball just pulls and really hurts after a few minutes. You can follow me on Instagram (@CraylorTech) and I’ll see if I can get a good pic and post it soon.

  11. Inspiring. Do it on your own terms. Shock people who have preconceived stereotypes of longhairs. Walk into a room with confidence and amaze them. Represent counter-culture and do us proud. Drop the mic and peace out. “I did it my way”.

  12. Hey Jon,

    Don’t you think older men are envious of your hair? I am 69 and could care less what other people think. I don’t judge them on their hairstyle and expect the same treatment. But whatever their opinion might be they should be courteous enough to keep it to themselves. You are right to be proud of yourself, regardless of the length of your hair, if you are an honorable man, and hair length has nothing to do with that.

  13. Hey Christian,
    What this all boils down to, is the fact your body (and hair) are yours. No one has a right to criticize you, just like you wouldn’t criticize a friend with a buzz cut. It’s a shame that in this day and age that some people criticize other people’s hair. I realize High School is a unforgiving place for someone that is not a conformist. But you will leave it with a sense of independence and courage, that your classmates only wish they had. It will serve you well as an adult. Try to ignore the naysayers, most of the time, they secretly wish they had your courage.

  14. Great article Christian! Glad to see that you persevered. I enjoyed reading about your journey- straight from the heart…

    1. I. Have had long hair most of my life. I still have long hair at 62. Also have a bread to. I don’t care what other people may think. My youth was the 60s and 70s. I love hard rock. Grew of with musicians. I have been accused of being a bicker. That was good becausen nobody would not miss with me. I do have a harley. Live on brother.

  15. Awsome article Christian, I to am a long hair and have been for most of my life.Now at the age of 51 alot/most men my age don’t have long hair or any at all and with that I to have confidence issues.I usually high ball it or ponytail, it’s when I have it flowing is where my issue lies.but with the long hairs and articles like this it makes me proud to be a long hair

    1. Author

      Thanks man! Don’t be ashamed of your locks, and don’t be afraid to just let it ride. Thanks for reading!

  16. Great job Christian !

    Your article quickly earned my attention & motivated the read till it’s end .

    I appreciate the topic you tackled & thoughts you’ve conjured .

    Aided by your strength & courage – myself & others may find our own ~

  17. the struggle, but at the end the acceptation even in your church, when they in fact reacted to a neglected hairstyle in front of the Lord…( Jesus Christ never saw the appearance of who he meet, but his faith…)
    in Europe, people are less conservative, and longhair is accepted almost everywhere; but the most longhair tie their mane, and it was necessary teaching them ho to do
    but the most difficult is during the akward stage, when you cannot tie your hair, and that’s the time where much people want you cut it…
    at that moment, you need help for no relapsing to shorthair, and your stylist will never help you for a short hair makes more money and will act to make last the akward stage
    for me, during 20 years, i tied in a ponytail, then, as it was more accepted to a bun with a hairstick

    1. as you respect the longhaired men, you are welcome on this site, regardless your hair lenght

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