Our Top 20 Trolls and How We Trolled Them

In Advocate by El Rubio7 Comments

Top Troll Comments on The Longhairs

We don’t get trolled too hard. When we do it’s mostly on social media, usually ads being seen by people who don’t know or follow The Longhairs, with a lot coming from YouTube as well.

Some are lighthearted, some are ignorant, some are truly cruel. Some of them make you wonder how the hell someone could think it’s ok to say that—much less post it on the internet!

It can be easy to get infuriated with trolls, or even get dragged in by them, finding yourself sparring in a tit-for-tat battle in the comments, addressing every point, heading him off at every pass. The natural reaction is to defend yourself, prove them wrong, demonstrate through persuasive argument the error of their ways.

At the end, though, there’s no winning. It’s just an energy suck.

Thing is, the majority of troll comments do not come from those who are doing more than you are, or even doing anything. They come from nameless faceless burner accounts with a quippy handle or cheesy avatar, who in fact are creating nothing of their own but standing on the sidelines.

The best thing you can do is give ‘em a quick zinger back. Laugh it off. Have some fun with it while expending as little energy as possible.

Of course worth mentioning is how spectacular it is when the community jumps in on our behalf. Sometimes we can’t even get a word in edgewise before you all rush to our aid, peppering some jerk with counter points and blog references. That’s really the best part about trolls for us…and we do appreciate it.

In any case, here are the top 20 troll comments we’ve gotten and how we’ve responded. Be warned some of these are positively inflammatory.


Got any quippy comments for the trolls? Share in the comments.


  1. How about the one “you look like a girl”.

    Varies from man to man, but with me: um, the broad shoulders? The obvious Adam’s apple? The deep baritone voice? The moustache and (albeit scraggly) facial hair? The sharp and pronounced jawline? How about the fact that I don’t have anything resembling boobs?

    A lot of this is taken from an old video on YouTube by OutBackZack. He is more reclusive from the website these days, but he would be an awesome ambassador for the Longhairs.

  2. Haha these are so awesome. My favorite is the one to the dude who said “men who wear hair ties don’t need to worry about their gf stealing them”. Savage! Keep on being awesome Longhairs!

  3. “You tell me , Sam” 😂 and “Imagine thinking a company that promotes men with long hair has outdated gender norms,” so great. Nice work saving all these. 🍻

  4. For El Rubio: As for the trolls hating on your goatee, If the best thing they can think of to criticize about you or your company is the fact that you’re not the archetype image of physical perfection (though that itself is even arguable) then your doing pretty good.
    Rock on dudes!

  5. There must be something to do with having long hair and being great at replying to trolls… yet another reason to keep lettin’ it ride!!!

  6. Love the hippie shooting the flower. But it would be so much better if he were using A Longhairs instead of A rubberband.

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