On this fine Christmas Eve we pay tribute to our favorite Longhairs of Christmas. We didn’t actually identify more than three Christmas Longhairs, but it’s highly doubtful any others would crack the top three.
By all means, if you disagree, please do share.
#3. Michael Bolton
Not to be confused with the shorthaired guy from that funny movie, our #3 spot is secured by acclaimed recording artist Michael Bolton, for his smash-hit holiday record, “This is the Time,” reaching as high as #11 on the charts with over 2.5 million units sold.
Most notably, the cover features Bolton’s excellently-situated low platinum ponytail with just the perfect surface area for catching falling snowflakes. Very seasonal, Mr. Bolton.
The Runner-Up: Santa Claus
More often recognized in highly-esteemed beard circles, Santa was an underdog in this race despite being arguably the most globally-recognized symbol for Christmas.
For those snow-white flowing locks, venerable disposition, and his status as a legendary international Christmas icon, jolly ole St. Nick comes in at #2 on the All-Time Longhairs of Christmas countdown.
And the #1 All-Time Longhair of Christmas: Jesus
Topping virtually every longhair list, JC is our #1 All-Time Christmas Longhair. Imploring mankind to be more like Him, what better effort can we make than to blanket our shoulders with flowing tresses? Interpreted loosely, the Bible tells us we should grow our hair out.
Whatever your beliefs, it’s hard to argue anyone else could pull this one out.
By virtue of the Christmas holiday literally celebrating His birth, and for that humble yet renowned wavy brown shag, Jesus has a lock on the #1 All-Time Longhair of Christmas.
That seals up the top three spots, but if you have anyone to expand our list, let us know in the comments. And Merry Christmas.