Put the Scissors Down and Count to 10

In Advocate, Educate by El Moreno9 Comments

7 Mature Solutions When You’re Sick of Your Hair

It starts subconsciously. You might be assembling a desk, working on an engine or calmly making a sandwich. But you forgot to tie your hair up first, so you find yourself head shaking or hand swiping endlessly to get the hair out of your eyes.

You might not realize until the 10th or 15th swipe, by which point you’re overcome with white hot rage and a compelling desire to rip the hair from your skull or chop it off with a knife.

Chopping Off Your Longhair
Of course you don’t really want to do that. The consequences would be catastrophic. So how do you deal with it?

Here are seven situations where you might be tempted to cut your hair off—and how to handle them the mature way.

1. Hair in Your Face

A well-documented frustration, your hair continuously falls in your eyes and face. Once? No problem, but it never happens once, more like 1,000 times in a row, mostly when you’re trying to do something productive, tedious, important or that requires focus.

Solution: Don’t Forget Your Hair Tie
Don’t fall victim to this rookie problem. The solution is obvious: a) always carry a hair tie; and b) take that extra few seconds to tie it up before you start your task.

  • Chris Healy Hair in the way
  • Chris Healy with ponytail

2. Windows Down

It’s a beautiful day. You’re in the car, sun is shining, music up, windows down. Great for the first 30 seconds, until you speed up and your hair becomes a violent storm, whipping you in the eyes and face, impairing your vision and causing you to crash into a bridge embunkment.

Solution: Cap It Down
This unfortunate incident could have easily been avoided. Bring a hat, or better yet a beanie, which really holds ‘er all in place. Your head might be sweating profusely, but you’re mashing with the windows down.

3. Tangled Mess

You might as well let a toddler play with your hair after eating cotton candy while sky diving. You’d have a better chance of running a comb through dreadlocks. Your hair is a tangled disaster, and trying to brush it is painful.

Solution: Loosen Up
You’re not the first one to deal with this problem. The solution starts with proper brushing technique but there are plenty of products designed to de-tangle your hair. Don’t worry that they’re made for little girls; you have long hair too. If you’re feeling bold, try the ole hat trick.

Tangled Hair
Longhair Caught in Elevator

4. Caught in the Elevator Door

You were getting out of the elevator and the doors regrettably closed on your precious locks. Like a dog running to the end of his leash, your head is jerked back violently possibly causing long-term neck and back problems.

Solution: Safety Checks
A post-game safety check when exiting the elevator. Stop. Shake. Walk.

5. Hand-to-Hand Combat

Whether it’s the main card on Saturday night or a lively tavern brawl, nothing’s more frustrating than getting your ass kicked due to impaired vision from hair in your face. Don’t let that happen.

Solution: Cornrows
The California Kid knows how to handle it. And he kicks peoples’ asses.

Longhair at formal gatherings

6. Formal Gatherings

Weddings, business meetings, bat mitzvahs and more. They all expect you to look “nice.” Well guess what, my hair is flat as fuck right now and I really don’t like the way that looks. The question is, what do you do with your hair when you need to look sharp?

Solution: Find Your Style
As if your tuxedo t-shirt doesn’t communicate the message, you need to portray an image of confidence and class in formal settings. So find your formal style. Maybe it’s a tight bun, maybe a half-pony, maybe a dry style blowout. Try some different things and figure out what suits your formal style. That’s your go-to.

7. When Your Friend Comes Out of the Barber Shop

Your friend gets back from the barber shop, lookin fresh and clean, nice shave, high and tight, he looks ok. You remember what it’s like to have those clippers take it down close.

Solution: Put the Scissors Down and Count to 10
Consider the facts. If you cut your hair there is no going back. Sure, you might not get that high and tight feeling. Instead, you have identity. You’re not the same as the five billion shorthaired dudes out there. And you look fucking great.

So don’t do it. Stop. Put the scissors down. Count to 10. And keep lettin it ride.

P.S. Don’t let men with long hair live with these struggles any longer. Help ’em out by sharing this.

Put the Scissors Down