Grizzled Lumberjack or Swashbuckling Pirate?
We are men with long hair, we embody the grizzled lumberjack, the swashbuckling pirate, and the cultural significance of a warrior.
Why is it that long hair can call our masculinity into question? On one hand we have manly lumberjacks and pirates, on the other hand, long hair is widely perceived as a feminine quality.
Is it not?
Ma’am?
It’s happened to many of us… “excuse me, ma’am?”
It can feel off-putting to be mistaken for a woman, when in fact you are a man with long hair. It can seriously hurt when you are told your hair makes you look like a girl.
Blowdrying your hair, shopping in the women’s hair care aisle, or even asking, “how does my hair look?” all have the potential to call your masculinity into question.
On the other hand it feels pretty great when your hair is called beautiful! So what is it? Does long hair make us more or less masculine?
What is Masculinity?
Masculinity can be a difficult subject to discuss. The very mention can put some guys immediately on the defensive.
I think we should change that perception. It is something that should be talked about, like many other things, if you bottle this up inside it can rip you apart.
Long Hair In The Media
In media it is prevalent what everyone thinks about men having long hair. It is okay as long as they show off some other type of extreme masculine quality that makes up for the femininity the long hair gives off.
That quality is usually that the fellow longhair is extremely buff or has a burly beard. This can make us feel like we must have one of these masculine qualities to balance our long hair.
Sure, I’d love to have a bush on my face to match the mop up top, and who wouldn't love to be ripped like Jason Momoa? That doesn’t make me any more of a man though.
It’s Different For Everyone
I have struggled in the past with my own definition and tried to figure out what it means for me. Some of this is embodied in my hair, jumping back and forth from the buzz to the fro, then finally deciding that the mane is where my masculinity lies.
I’ve tried to copy other people’s perceptions, but it just doesn’t feel right. It’s like when you try to copy someone else’s sense of style, for me, it does not feel like I am myself.
It was only when I accepted that masculinity is just another form of self expression that I realized it's different for every person, much like a personality, or even a hair style.
How I Define My Masculinity
I express masculinity in my appearance, my choices and my actions.
I love flowers, it is just something that I enjoy to wear and have (when The Island Vibes came out I was pretty stoked).
I have long curly hair and it makes me feel more like a man, especially when people tell me I look like Maui. I wear short swim trunks because a brotha likes to tan. I also love to work out, and pet my dogs. I have earrings with little trees on them that I think are radical.
None of these things inherently make me any less or any more manly; they are the means by which I express my masculinity.
So, how do I define masculinity? If I were to put it into words, it would be:
“To be masculine is to be a helper, a leader, someone to look up to. You lead, you take responsibility and most importantly, you love. To be a man is to be a rock for others to stand on, be there when your friends need you, and to show love freely.”
How The Longhairs Have Helped Me
The Longhairs have truly helped me in discovering my sense of masculinity. We are bros, connected through our long hair and the experiences we share.
Not only are they offering products and great content, but community. To know that there are bros out there going through the same things I am with similar life and hair experiences means a lot. If you haven't joined the fraternity yet, we’re ready for ya brotha.
Is Long Hair Masculine?
In the end, it’s not the length of our hair that defines our masculinity; nor is it our appearance, how jacked we are or how burly our beards are, the colors we like, the music we enjoy...or even the hair ties we use.
We each define and express our own masculinity, though whatever means we choose.
Masculinity is what it means to you. It can be whatever you make it.
El Rizado
Comments
Really enjoyed this post and your definition of masculinity for you. Thanks El Rizado!
i’ve translated in french language this post, available at that address: http://chamanedaniel.canalblog.com/archives/2019/09/14/37634653.html
if Kevin Carey can give us the recipe of his homemade beard oil, it could interest much longhairs-longbeards
AWESOME CHAMANE THANKS MAN!
new urban masculinity ( i hope it is not considered as toxic, or Gillette masculinity…lol), as seen in a German car’s advertising: https://youtu.be/ebKthRd6FsA
and the future of masculinity as seen by some feminists: https://youtu.be/vyxccfsPMgQ?list=PLn8tMf3GzxOSNImSADqatnasydfgoWx4g
i prefer that everyone on this site can avoid it….
My hair length is long past my shoulders, and one of the greatest compliments I receive is from women who tell me how beautiful my hair is. And I like to tan above the knees, so thanks for calling that out.
Really liked this post. There’s not enough positive stuff out there for men. Sometimes I feel like we are being not so subliminally requested/required to give up our male gender identity in today’s world because being a guy is bad and being female is the future, or girls rule, etc.
Thanks for reminding us that, no matter what one’s definition of masculinity is, we should embrace it, be proud, celebrate it, and accept it in all positive forms. Some seem to forget that masculinity, in all of its glory, is one of the biggest reasons for the progress of humans – all of this coupled (no pun intended) with the progress provided by feminity as well. So maybe it’s time to stop shying away from being guys and being masculine.
There is perhaps a reason that this post is needed today. It is an age where female pride is very common. As a man, it can sometimes feel like there are proclamations of female superiority abounding. I hope this is a misinterpretation and that women can be proud of themselves and their femininity – whatever that might mean to each individual – and men can be proud of themselves and their unique masculinity. It can be a great world!
PS thanks longhairs! You guys gave me the confidence I needed to get through the awkward stages about 2 or 3 years ago. I have long curly hair now, a beard and my own sense of my masculinity, so thanks for reminding me of this. I might cut the beard off soon or maybe not, either way, I’m just a guy. I also lift heavy weights, have muscles, love my little white dog, wear pink if I want to, and use hair clips and ties and all sorts of stuff. People look at me I know,but it’s bc they’re jealous right? Lol.
I will admit I wear kilts at home and working in the yard but have yet to get over the fear of being judged out in public. So that’s my little challenge.
Be strong brothers! Or don’t, either way, be proud to be a guy.
Can you consider selling baseball theme hair ties? For example NY YANKEES pinstripe ties, Phillies, Mets Bosox, etc. I believe that they would be GREAT ATTRACTIVE sellers. Keep up the GREAT WORK. “LET IT RIDE ”
Best,
El Lorenzo
Beautiful words, man.
“To be masculine is to be a helper, a leader, someone to look up to. You lead, you take responsibility and most importantly, you love. To be a man is to be a rock for others to stand on, be there when your friends need you, and to show love freely.”
Awesome Josef! Enjoyed this read👏🏼
Love your definition of masculinity, but wanted to add one point.
It is ok and does not make you less masculine to need someone else to be your rock to stand on. Sometimes we need help and that is ok.
Absolutely man! That’s part of it too, knowing when you need help.
So as I face my 66th birthday tomorrow I am contemplating how I got to my present hirsute look. The hair was easy. I hated having my hair cut so once it got past the awkward stage I never looked back. The beard kind of crept up on me. I stopped trimming it and started making my own Badass beard oil that keeps it smelling nice and tames the tangles. The combo is definitely metrosexual caveman but I like the look. And when I roll my hair into a high ball (thanks for that term, longhairs) I can take on the world.
I am 63 Och and my hair is past mid of my back.ladt time over 28ins.one on Facebook I was on a group .but got comment about shouldn’t have longhair.yes from older women .who.hair was shorter.iam not into group.anymore.p.s I had longhair.peolpe would say girl hair to me.i would look down and. I say .I am sorry but not anything had fall off yet.haveing longhair..just a input from a 63 old.keep it long and growing.