The Definitive Long Hair Problems for Men

In Advocate by El Rubio190 Comments

Unique Problems For Guys With Long Hair – An Illustrated Edition

Some painful, some humiliating, we’re proud to present this graphically illustrated edition of long hair problems for men.

UPDATE: over 170 comments documenting long hair problems from around the globe. Share your #longhairproblems in the comments!

Elefante with his hair tangled in a button

Worse Than Your Last Pair Of Underwear

You’ve got a sales meeting in 30 minutes and your navigation calls for a 27-minute drive. This is a “hair tied up” occasion, but out of the 50-pack of boring regular black hair ties you bought last week, there are approximately ZERO left.

Rummaging desperately through your girlfriend’s drawers, you find a single, sickening option available to you: a hot pink scrunchie.

Involuntary Hair Removal

One of the more painful long hair problems, ripping a chunk out of your hairline attempting to remove your sunglasses.

Quick Tips

You don't need to be a hair expert, but there are a few things every guy growing his hair needs to know.
Get Quick Tips

Not Yoga Chill

Congratulations. You just breathed, stretched, accepted, felt, humbled, expressed gratitude and showed appreciation to your body, mind and spirit. You’ve earned...Svasana.

Except you can’t rest for shit because your hair is tied up and you can’t put your head down squarely on the yoga mat, even though all the women in class seem to be managing just fine. Same problem on a bench press.

Heavy Surf

Things have been going great since the zipper incident. You’ve caught eight waves and you’re paddling back out, but you surfaced with a heavy, soaking-wet face blanket, so you didn't see the sleeper wave that slammed you, knocked you off your board and nearly lost the GoPro.

Cycling With Obscured Vision

One of several very dangerous long hair problems, the slightest glance away at mach speed can be catastrophic, looking back to find yourself riding into oncoming traffic with hair pasted to your face.

The Oil Change

We’re men, we change our own oil. Or at least find ourselves under a vehicle occasionally, which is great until you realize your hair is floating in a stagnant pool of contaminated motor oil.

Preparing and Consuming Meals

Whether it’s actually eating, or cooking, preparing, serving, or otherwise dealing with food, somehow your hair inevitably ends up in the secret sauce.


For these and other longhair problems, with Quick Tips.

Get Them

Actually Getting Catcalled

Among the more humiliating long hair problems, you finally got a date with that girl from the women’s hair care aisle. You’re laughing it up and things couldn’t be going better, until the punk waiter approaches from behind with a flirtatious greeting,

“Helllloo ladies…oh.”

Category 5 Tropical Hair Storm

You’ve got tickets to the big game, but you have to ride with a guy you kind of just met. It’s cool, until you’re forced to ask him, over the pre-game radio show, “dude, do you mind if we ride with the windows up?”

Dipping Your Hair In Your Beer

Rounding out our illustrated long hair problems, dunking your mane into a perfectly crisp and refreshing beer. Don’t worry, it’ll still getcha drunk.

Just when you thought you'd seen all the long hair problems, there's 100+ more in the comments. Hard to say which is most heinous, but there's some comfort in knowing you're not alone in your suffering.

Share your worst long hair problems below.
El Moreno with a Fish hook in his hair

Who Are These Guys?

Learn More

You don't need to be a hair expert, but there are a few things every guy growing his hair needs to know.

Get Quick Tips
Marshall is all too familiar with long hair problems.