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The Definitive Long Hair Problems for Men
Unique Problems For Guys With Long Hair – An Illustrated Edition
Some painful, some humiliating, we’re proud to present this graphically illustrated edition of long hair problems for men.
UPDATE: over 190 comments documenting long hair problems from around the globe. Add yours to the comments!
Worse Than Your Last Pair Of Underwear
You’ve got a sales meeting in 30 minutes and your navigation calls for a 27-minute drive. This is a “hair tied up” occasion, but out of the 50-pack of boring regular black hair ties you bought last week, there are approximately ZERO left.
Rummaging desperately through your girlfriend’s drawers, you find a single, sickening option available to you: a hot pink scrunchie.
Involuntary Hair Removal
One of the more painful long hair problems, ripping a chunk out of your hairline attempting to remove your sunglasses.
Not Yoga Chill
Congratulations. You just breathed, stretched, accepted, felt, humbled, expressed gratitude and showed appreciation to your body, mind and spirit. You’ve earned...Svasana.
Except you can’t rest for shit because your hair is tied up and you can’t put your head down squarely on the yoga mat, even though all the women in class seem to be managing just fine. Same problem on a bench press.
Heavy Surf
Things have been going great since the zipper incident. You’ve caught eight waves and you’re paddling back out, but you surfaced with a heavy, soaking-wet face blanket, so you didn't see the sleeper wave that slammed you, knocked you off your board and nearly lost the GoPro.
Cycling With Obscured Vision
One of several very dangerous long hair problems, the slightest glance away at mach speed can be catastrophic, looking back to find yourself riding into oncoming traffic with hair pasted to your face.
The Oil Change
We’re men, we change our own oil. Or at least find ourselves under a vehicle occasionally, which is great until you realize your hair is floating in a stagnant pool of contaminated motor oil.
Preparing and Consuming Meals
Whether it’s actually eating, or cooking, preparing, serving, or otherwise dealing with food, somehow your hair inevitably ends up in the secret sauce.
Actually Getting Catcalled
Among the more humiliating long hair problems, you finally got a date with that girl from the women’s hair care aisle. You’re laughing it up and things couldn’t be going better, until the punk waiter approaches from behind with a flirtatious greeting,
“Helllloo ladies…oh.”
Category 5 Tropical Hair Storm
You’ve got tickets to the big game, but you have to ride with a guy you kind of just met. It’s cool, until you’re forced to ask him, over the pre-game radio show, “dude, do you mind if we ride with the windows up?”
Dipping Your Hair In Your Beer
Rounding out our illustrated long hair problems, dunking your mane into a perfectly crisp and refreshing beer. Don’t worry, it’ll still getcha drunk.
Just when you thought you'd seen all the long hair problems, there are hundreds more in the comments. Hard to say which is most heinous, but there's some comfort in knowing you're not alone.
Share your worst long hair problems below.
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