What You Didn’t Know About Your Friend With Long Hair

In Advocate by El Rubio18 Comments

Chances are you know at least one man or boy with long hair. He might be a family member, boyfriend or husband, a casual acquaintance, or just a Facebook friend you don’t remember ever meeting. It could be someone you’ve known for years who always had short hair, but recently made the life decision to grow it out.

You probably haven’t thought much about this guy’s long hair, or his struggle. That’s because there are things you simply don’t think about unless you are a man with long hair.

For example, you may not have noticed that period of three or four months when he was in the awkward stage. It was a lonely time. He had little support, if any at all.

He wondered, are ponytails acceptable? How do I tie it properly? Where did I get this hair tie, and why is it pink?

His friends, stalwart supporters and confidants, abandoned him for neater, tidier-looking gentlemen who would serve as better wingmen at the local tavern. Likewise, his girlfriend at the time wasn’t down for the poor, raggedy looking mop on his head, and she left him. Even his dear mother, his #1 supporter in life, ever-so-gently suggested, “maybe you should just cut it, honey.”

It was lonely indeed. Which is why most men never make it through this awkward stage, and frankly we can’t blame them.

But this acquaintance of yours, he made it through. He stayed the path, committed to a brighter future, finally reaching his shoulders and the universal longhair benchmark of being able to tie it up. It was a big moment for him.

Even then, he was introduced to new struggles.

Questions presented themselves, with few answers. He wondered, are ponytails acceptable? How do I tie it properly? Where did I get this hair tie, and why is it pink?

He thought to himself, should I brush my hair? If so, how do I perform such a task? He figured he would find answers at the drugstore, but instead he found more questions, and worse yet intimidation, embarrassment, even shame.

He stood stoically in the women’s hair care aisle, nervously, as women paraded past him in pairs. Moms and daughters, friends and sorority sisters, all seemingly clear on their task at hand, finding immediately the products they desired and dispersing quickly.

He concealed these products in his shopping basket with men’s shaving products, a home-gym set of perfect push-ups and a can of motor oil.

They didn’t seem to notice him, and yet he felt ever-more conspicuous examining bottle after bottle of lilac-scented shampoos, conditioners and other mysterious formulas. He ultimately made his selection after much debate and reading of labels promoting volume and shine, the least feminine in appearance and scent, yet still decorated with colorful pastels and cursive typefaces.

Walking to the checkout aisle he concealed these products in his shopping basket with men’s shaving products, a home-gym set of perfect push-ups and a can of motor oil. He chose the register attended by the kindest-looking female clerk, least likely to question his selection, even though it was the longest line.

Other inconveniences surfaced. Like hair in the sink, and the shower drain, and most every other place. His sunglasses, in year’s past an object of comfort, now painfully latched onto individual strands of hair causing him great grief, fear, and frustration.

More than once while dining with a lady he’s been approached from the rear and greeted by a server, “hello ladies.” He’s been teased, jeered, possibly even threatened by strangers, friends, maybe even his father. He’s even been cat-called by groups of obnoxious men loitering on the street corner, who, reeling, quickly pretended they were joking amongst themselves upon realizing they were whistling at a man.

Furthermore, when he approached the employment market he found his vocational opportunities far more limited than in previous experiences. Several positions were ruled out immediately, still others after closer inspection of company policies. The one interview he was granted ended abruptly after HR officials tactfully asked if he’d read the men’s personal grooming standards manual.

Finally, there is a place for every man with long hair to go.

Through all this, he’s kept his composure, and he’s kept letting it ride. Why? Maybe his reason is like this guy’s. Or these guys’. Or maybe he’s just refused to give in. Whatever the reason, he’s still got his locks, and he’s damn proud of them.

So give that guy with long hair a little credit. He’s been through a lot in his longhair life.

That’s why The Longhairs are here: to advocate for men with long hair. To offer hair knowledge, and education. To provide answers to questions. And to celebrate these long flowing manes, with longhair meetups, tales of heroism, and #HairWhipWednesdays.

Finally, there is a place for every man with long hair to go. And your friend deserves to know about it.

Whether he’s an acquaintance, a neighbor, your boyfriend or business partner, don’t let him go any longer without a community.

Kindly, mercifully, tell this upstanding gentleman about The Longhairs. Text him the link. Tag him on your social channels. Or request your pack of Longhairs referral cards below, and present one to him in person, ceremoniously.

However you do it, don’t let that man with long hair go any longer without the community he deserves to know about. He’s made it this far. He’s been through enough.

Tell him The Longhairs are here.


Not sure how to hand them out? Order your cards and our proven referral process will be revealed to you.


  1. I know this is an old post but it still lands. been drowning in the sorrows over a bad haircut to get through the awkward stage. Wish I had found the gumption of the long haired brothers last week! I’m now committed to never let someone else touch my hair until shoulder length.

    Stay Free – Let It Ride!

  2. This article reads like my life history, haha! I can relate to almost every point in there from some time in the last 15 years.
    I’ve grown my hair out several times since I was about 13, but I always ended up cutting it due to peer pressure or perceived inconvenience.

    Now at 28, I’m proud to say I’ve been growing my hair for over 4 and a half years, I have the longest hair of anyone I know, male or female (I can almost sit on it!), and it’s in great condition, I get nothing but compliments on it. And I have no intention of cutting it anytime soon (except to trim off those pesky split ends), I want to keep going to see what my maximum length is!

    Your site has been a great help to me even as a more experienced long hair, so I’m sure it’s a Godsend for new or soon to be long haired gentlemen. Keep up the good work, and keep letting it ride guys!

    1. English Rob great to hear man. Damn “almost sit on it” that it some serious flow my brotha. Stoked the post connected with you!

    2. Look up Crystal Gayle (Loretta Lynn’s sister). She has to walk carefully so as not to step on her hair. She must have a staff of people to take care of her hair for her.

    3. You are truly epic, Rob. Just keep going proudly and majestically all the way.

  3. I filled out the form for referral cards about two months ago and they haven’t arrived. Should I send the request again?


  4. My best answer so far has been: Just because you don’t understand the purpose of one or more of your body parts, you don’t cut them off in your ignorance. Nature, your creator, grows long hair out of the top of our heads. I choose to accept that. Perhaps it better connects me to the cosmos.

    You will never know what you are missing while you unceremoniously chop your hair off.

  5. Hey I am Kriston and in my culture long hair on guys are seen as an abomination thus strong peer pressure from everyone to cut it off. My hair is neck length I could tie it up into a low man bun. My peers find every excuse to make me cut of my locks, including comments such as messy, unproffesional hair.
    I am a highschooler I was wondering about tips and products to use for my long hair, I hate tying it up so I wanna go for a Jason mamoa look. I have thick straight hair and I am plagued with bad hair days. As now it has started curling in the back. I am also pressured from my parents to cut it if I don’t keep it tidy.
    Please Help,


    1. Kriston, definitely read through the posts here. Lots of great information. I would suggest at least a trim just to give it a little bit of style and appease your parents. Search the internet for “men with medium-length hair” and look through the images for men with hair that is similar to yours and find a few styles that you like. Print those out and take to your stylist and tell him/her that this is your goal and that you need help getting through this stage. I think you not only have to commit to letting it grow, you have to commit to learning how to style your hair during the awkward stage. I know, the point of short hair (and long hair) is minimal styling effort. Unfortunately, the journey from short to long runs right through Awkwardville. You have to commit to a little more time each day to deal with your hair. I notice men’s hair styles more now. I’m surprised to find that a lot of men CHOOSE to have hair styles in the awkward range so apparently it’s only awkward if you let be. Find a style that works for you and commit to the extra time. Remember, the best part about this site is that everyone is cheering for you!

  6. I would have said Chris Hemsworth (thor) but he cut his hair for his role in blackhat!

  7. That guy who plays Thor should be on the celebrity longhair bromance list.

  8. Author

    Yo Johnny Short Hair! We’re working on our celebrity longhair bromance list. Clay Matthews is on it. And Leo. But you, my friend, are on the ‘Top 100 Short Hairs Who Should Have Long Hair’ list.

  9. So who’s your top long hair bromance candidate?

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