Men, Women and the Respect Hair Can Teach Us

In Advocate by El Levanta Pesas5 Comments

We All Start Somewhere

From birth until 22, there had been one constant when it came to my short hair: it dried faster than you can heat up a cup of instant ramen.

Because quick drying hair was a fact of my universe, I had the ability to shower, clothe and go, any time of day with no hassle. It was easy. Until I started growing my hair out at 22, the slowest part of getting ready was performing the sniff test on my clothes pile.


Due to my speedy routine, I had little understanding for what it takes to transform long hair from a tangled furball to a wearable style. With this mindset, I was oblivious to the effort women put into their hair, and as such I had no respect for their struggle.

Simply put, I was unprepared for what hair can teach us.

"it dried faster than you can heat up a cup of instant ramen."

The Past That Shaped Me

When I was younger I assumed hair care was like Polaroid pictures, ready to go in 30 seconds. My immediate family had short hair that needed no styling, so I never saw someone put hours of dedication into their look.

Growing up in this environment, I was left completely blind to the hard work women put into their hair. The first 22 years of life left me unprepared for what was to come in relationships—and in my future as a longhair.


The Jokes We Make

After high school, I had my first brush with what women’s hair care actually consisted of.

While my girlfriends and I were getting ready for dates I finally saw the work that went into styling and preparing hair. These lovely ladies would wash, dry, and do final touch-ups to take their hair from a mess to perfect in 30 minutes.

Looking back, this was nothing short of incredible. However this process seemed to take forever at the time, and I would get bored after quickly finishing my messy, windswept style.


Being completely unsympathetic for their struggle, I would pass the time waiting for them to finish their hair by making terrible jokes. My go-to was, “we need to be ready in an hour, so you should have started washing your hair yesterday.” This was often met with an irritated sigh and a door closing in my face.

"“we need to be ready in an hour, so you should have started washing your hair yesterday.”"

Respect the Routine

Fast forward two years from those doors being slammed and I have long hair drying in a hairnet at work three hours after my morning shower.

I honestly didn’t know what to expect when it came to my hair care journey. There are times I wish I had paid closer attention to my girlfriends or asked questions of the other women around me.


The ladies have hair care perfected, possessing the counter for every situation in the book. I am constantly asking my girlfriend, co-workers and friends for advice on how to get the best look for my mop.

Thankfully they’ve taken pity and given plenty of tips and instructions on proper hair care. Now I look less like a hairball with legs and more like someone presentable to society.


Where It All Comes Untangled

We can’t all have an amazing mane; however everyone can have an amazing amount of respect. The respect we gain from growing long hair causes us to change on the inside as much as the outside.

The shift from offhandedly making comments about how women affect our time, to being respectful about the hours they put into themselves is an experience I’m grateful for.

Next time you are waiting for your hair to dry, think of the jokes you made and throw the same zingers at yourself. And remember what hair can teach us.

What lessons have you learned about long hair from the more knowledgeable people in your life? Share in the comments, amigo.

El Levanta Pesas is from the plains BBQ capital Kansas City, MO and has been growing his mop since January 2016. When he isn’t discovering local grub or painting he’s busy making deposits into the Bank of Iron.

You can follow him @longhairedlifter on Instagram.


    1. Author

      Thank Billy! I am glad you enjoyed my journey.

  1. I hope you were able to get that round brush out of your hair. That’s a mistake you only make once, right? I actually like the “messy” style. I would think for your type of hair you could get away with a few hair whips and be done. I’ve been thinking about getting those glasses, I think that style looks great with long hair. Great job, bro!

  2. at that adress a paper from a french rapunzel ” the truth about longhair”, where she says that longhair is not expensive ( she buy her shampoo 11$ a liter), she uses not more than a shorthaired for she applies it on the scalp only
    her daily routine takes only 1/4 hour each morning and evening
    and her washing routine is very simple under her shower
    and she admit that her hair gave her more confidence and more intuition, as the amerindians

  3. the routine does not take several hours, and it is what i learned to…women
    i do not need more that a hairwash every week; i wet the hair, i use a shampoo bar based on sci ( sodium cocoyl isethionate), one rinse ( last rince with a water added of 10% vinegar): after the towel ( 1 mn), i brush to detangle; as my ends are tangled, a detangler spray leave in helps
    then 1 to 2 hours cold drying, and a dry detangling brushing without any warm engine…
    each other morning, only one cold brushing, and i tie my bun ( 3 mn); for the shower, use a shower cap to avoid wetting your mane
    effectively, that is more time than Buzzcut Joe routine, but not a entire day…
    for hair buns instructables, go to youtube, then isaetno ( a french rapunzel who published simple buns )

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