A Gentleman’s Guide to International Women’s Day

In Advocate, Celebrate, Educate by El Rubio20 Comments

Gloria Steinem, in honor of International Women's Day.
"The story of women's struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist nor to any one organization but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights."Gloria Steinem, world-renowned feminist, journalist and activist

For All Who Care

International Women's Day is celebrated on March 8 every year. Commemorating the movement for women's rights, it’s a global day for celebrating the achievements of women, remembering past struggles, and advancing gender equality.

But Women’s Day isn’t just about women. As Gloria Steinem stated, it’s about all who care about human rights. Like our posts on black history month, little guys with long hair, and hair discrimination...it’s about equality.

While hair may seem trivial in the context of equality, the fundamental ideas are the same. We should advocate for equality in race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, values, belief systems, and all other forms.

 

Men Celebrating Women's Day

Today and every day we should honor the women in our lives: mothers, grandmothers, daughters, granddaughters, spouses and partners, sisters, aunties, cousins, nieces, colleagues, acquaintances and friends.

With poor behaviors continuously surfacing in entertainment, politics, athletics and the workplace, it's more important than ever that we as men recommit to treating women with respect. Here are some dos and don’ts, best practices, and useful advice in observance and celebration of international women’s day.

El Moreno and his wife walking along Sunset Cliffs, an appropriate photo for Women's Day.
 

Dos - Good Conduct

Whether it’s how we treat women we’re familiar with—family, friends, colleagues or partners—or strangers on the street, these are good practices for just about anyone.
  • Treat with respect.
  • Listen attentively.
  • Seek to understand.
  • Do not interrupt.
  • Consider advice.
  • Empathize with troubles.
  • Celebrate successes.
  • Practice good manners.
  • Show appreciation.
Image

Things like opening doors, offering to help with luggage, pulling out a chair, and walking on the outside of the sidewalk are considered gentlemanly, though not everyone may welcome those gestures—some people just want to be treated like anyone else, and that’s fine too.

In any case, respect and good manners are always a good idea.

Don’ts - Bad Behaviors

        “Locker Room Talk”
        A term often used to excuse crass or offensive jokes, particularly those sexual in nature.

        Sexist Jokes and Stereotypes
        “Jokes” and stereotypes demeaning towards women.

        Demeaning Terms and Phrases
        Referring to women with derogatory terms.

        Abuse of Power
        Using a position of power as leverage.

        Unwanted Advances or Physical Contact
        Grabbing, slapping or touching in any way. Awful behavior that makes everyone look bad.

        Striking and Physical Violence
        Outside of possibly extreme situations, there is no cause to strike a woman.

        Condescending Language
        Speaking down to in a belittling or disrespectful manner.

        Discrimination
        Disparaging or unfavorable treatment of women for being women.

         

        Lead With Masculinity

        As a community with a stated vision “...to develop masculinity,” we should recognize that true masculinity supports, empowers and depends on femininity. We should welcome that balance, set the right example, and admonish our fellow men to that end. 

        Sometimes that could mean calling out bad behaviors. This can test your comfort zone, but it’s an act of character and confidence. Here are a few situations where you can make a difference: 

        Don’t Laugh at the Locker Room Talk
        A crude jokester always looks around for laughs and approval. Your silence or refusal to laugh will signal a “no-go.”

        Don’t Tolerate Men Doing Bad Things
        If you see a guy grabbing or touching women, tell a bartender, bouncer or security.

        Speak Out Against Disrespectful Comments
        “Whoa, hang on. Is there a better way to say what you mean without being disrespectful?”

        Don’t Let Demeaning Terms and Phrases Slide
        Instead, speak up. “I don’t call women bitches.”

        Challenge Stereotypes
        “A lot of women I know are really smart.”

        And Many Others
        Seemingly small, nuanced situations like these make an impact, and put some action to the idea of supporting Women’s Day.

        Takeaways for Men on Women’s Day

        1) Don't be a bystander. Challenge poor behavior with courage and resolve.

        2) Call the women in your life and show appreciation.

        3) Educate young people, coach them up, and model the way in words and actions for how women and girls should be treated.

        Here are other ways you can support International Women’s Day.

        ***

        We as men have the power to affect equality. Let’s take this opportunity today, and every day, to be thankful for the women in our lives, express our gratitude, and be gentlemen.

         

        Comments

        1. Excellent! I work hard on being a gentleman. I’m 68, long-haired, and truly love and appreciate the women in my life. I stand in solidarity with respect to live as a gentleman toward women.
          Joe

        2. This should be required reading for all men- simply fantastic! Thank you for standing up for women everywhere and for offering guidance and tools to guys who want to as well.

          A special shout out to Sheila – you did a remarkable job in instilling these values in your son!!!

        3. As always … spoken like a true gentleman. You guys are awesome!

        4. Killed it.

          This made me overjoyed to see how much respect you guys have for women. Women are NOT objects, they are beautiful human beings that deserve to be loved and respected. Thank you for standing up for what’s right!

        5. I loved getting to see this from you guys!

          I’ve been saying, for a while now, that it’s our job to decide the future of the evolution of humanity. This comes in the form of rejecting traits in people that are “undesirable”. When a woman pairs up with those types of men who are just total asshats, she’s literally telling evolution that his traits are worthy of propagation. It is a woman’s job to reject a toxic male. And it’s the job of other men to offer corrections to those same toxic people. It’s the only way we’re really going to pull ourselves up and out of this mess that’s been created over such a long time.

          It truly is a pleasure seeing this community take a stand in this direction, and giving support to other men to become the best versions of themselves possible while also telling the douches that their behavior is bad form.

        6. Thank you for this guys!!

          This is what I tell my son on a regular basis, and I can honestly say I have never heard a sexist remark come out of his mouth.
          Unfortunately he has experienced, first-hand, men being distespectful toward women. I wish I could protect him from all forms of abuse, but I have used those situations as opportunities to explain to him what NOT to do. And I am so proud of his responses and how his little 7 year old brain has already learned of and appreciates the worth of a woman.

          I appreciate that you have taken the time to write about this and I look forward to sharing it with him. It makes me feel even more honored that he has The Longhairs as role models.

          You guys just keep killin’ it!

        7. So touching and so true. Where would I have ended up without the women in my life? Thank you guys!

        8. This is an amazing guideline for pointing out what behavior women are faced with every day and how to combat what could be shrugged off as ‘just joking’. Thank you, Longhairs!

        9. I’m in tears right now. This is BEAUTIFUL! We need to educate each other and support each other and you have used your platform in the best way I can think of. As a mom of a dedicated follower and long hair, I am beyond grateful for the stand you’re taking and what my son will learn from you. Thank you. ✊❤️

        10. This is a great post guys! Thank you for standing with us and educating your awesome community!

        11. I’m mom to a 9-year-old longhair who loves watching your how-to videos and frequently practices the art of highballin’. He looks up to you guys and you’ve deepened his sense of self-pride and acceptance. I can’t thank you enough for THAT, and now you deliver THIS?! I can’t wait to share this with him. I love it! Thanks for heeding the call…❤️

        12. Nice job guys. I’m a fan and a professional long hair. This stance confirming a real man’s approach to honoring women is refreshing! Not many willing to take this stand so thank you.

          Calling a few women I know.

          Chris

        13. Very well-said! Allyship is incredibly important, especially now. Happy to support y’all and be a part of the longhairs!

        14. Fantastic! Thank you, Longhairs, for advocating for women, and for ALL people! The solution starts with us. You guys rock!

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