Living With a Longhair: The Mess, The Stress, The Awesome-Ness

In Advocate by La Rubia24 Comments

What To Expect When Your Man Has Long Hair

So your man is growing his hair out? I've been through the "growing it out" phase, I now live with a man with long hair, and I haven’t suffocated on a hairball...yet. There’re a few things you should know about living with a longhair, so I'll break it down for you.

Living The Hair Life

My longhair saga began in the 1970s when my parents met. ‘Ole Steve was 22 with a beard and long hair, so long that people called him Jesus. He wore a super long ponytail or braid all the time, but that was normal for the 70s. Anyway he managed to hook my mom with that long hair, maybe it was a sign I’d be a longhair lifer.

I’ve spent my life talking about, looking at, brushing, braiding, twirling, smelling and styling hair. My mom is a hairdresser and my three sisters have had long hair, short hair, and every length in between. Most of my experience had been with women's hair, until I met my boyfriend Lindsay. Let’s just say we had to take a few steps back before going forward.


Long Hair 101

Lindsay and I started dating when he and Chris were deciding to grow their hair out. Chris was growing it out while traveling the world, and Lindsay joined in with aspirations for a longhair meetup in Brazil. So when Lindsay and I met he was in full-blown awkward stage. He wore a lot of hats and thought his hair was super long (it wasn't, compared to now) since he’d always had short hair. He kept it growing, even during times when he thought “dude, I have to cut this, it’s out of control.” Finally he hit the shoulders. He was officially a longhair, and took up The Longhairs’ torch.

This was all before I was living with a longhair—I haven't even gotten to the good part! When Lindsay started growing his hair out he was just a typical bachelor guy, living with other guys. Cleansing consisted of body wash and bar soap, which went straight over the top of his head. No massaging into the scalp, definitely no deep cleaning. He didn't know how to shampoo, so it was always greasy, but at that early stage he didn’t even know what "greasy" hair meant.

The first thing I had to do was teach Lindsay how to care for his long hair. I remember going into the store and buying him shampoo, conditioner and hair ties (I never thought I would be buying hair ties for my boyfriend).

Then I showed him how to wash his hair properly and how to use conditioner, “just on the ends babe.” I had to teach him how to brush it, take care of it, and even how to put it in a ponytail—sorry a menstail—which was a hard one.


Living Together? 😬

But when we started living together I wasn't 100% on board at first. Loving his long hair was an acquired taste. When Lindsay told me about "The Longhairs" project, my first thought was, "you think you’re gonna have long hair in our wedding pictures??!" And we weren't even engaged yet 😂 Now my fiancé and over a year living together, I wouldn't have it any other way. He’s my longhaired man.

There are challenges, however. For example, we are essentially a hair factory at our house. We live in a 500 square foot cottage with a dog who sheds like she’s trying on new outfits. Long brown hair from Lindsay, long blonde hair from me, and short black and white hair from Scout adds up to colorfully mixed hairdrifts piling up against the walls and underneath furniture daily.

Believe me when I say, I know what it’s like living with a longhair. So if your man is growing his hair out, here are a few things you can expect:


What to Expect

Living With A Longhair

The Mess

  • His hair in the fridge, on the counters, in the sink and on the toilet.
  • Sopping tangled hairballs in the shower drain that he won't clean out.
  • A wet bathroom when he gets out of the shower with wet hair.
  • Cleaning your brush out multiple times daily.

The Stress

  • Friends, parents and coworkers asking when your man is going to cut his hair. Every time you see them.
  • Teaching him how to wash it, brush it and tie it.
  • Reminding him that greasy hair is a no-no.
  • Acquaintances asking what your man does for a living (i.e., if he has a real job).

The Awesome-Ness

  • Sharing hair ties and hair products with your man.
  • Couples don’t really wash each other’s backs in the shower—but you’ll be able to wash each other’s hair.
  • He actually won't mind waiting for you to do your hair. He'll get it.
  • He'll let you flat iron and blow dry and braid his hair sometimes.
  • Every Monday will be your own personal manbun Monday (except they don’t call it a manbun).
  • Your friends assuming he’s a musician or action-sports hero.
  • The surfing hair flip followed by the the slow jog beach exit.
  • Him looking studly snowboarding with locks flowing out of his beanie.
  • And finally, let's be real - hats look better on Longhairs.
So as you step into this stage of living with a longhair, remember you are his supporter. Get him through the awkward stage and tell him his hair looks great. Keep plenty of hats, Hair Ties For Guys, and great shampoo & conditioner around, and you might just find out his hair is nicer than yours, oh!

It All Pays Off

Of course he’ll be forever grateful and will buy you presents, do the dishes, wash your car every weekend, walk the dog every day, never let the trash get full before he takes it out, and always remember to put the toilet seat down. guarantees, but at least he’ll look sexier 😉.

What this journey really comes down to, though, is commitment. If he can commit to growing his hair out with you by his side—even when it’s hard to deal with—his commitment to you will be as strong as those luscious locks.

It might be a journey for him, but it’s a journey for your relationship too. So throw a #hairwhip and keep lettin’ it ride, because you’re gonna love living with a longhair.

Gals out there: did I miss anything about living with a longhair? Let me know in the comments!


  1. Current awkward-stager here on my journey to some wavy locks! This is my first time fully committing to growing it out and both my wife and I are pretty excited about it, so this article was a fun read. I’m almost 37 and I decided it’s either now or never, because I don’t know what my hair will be like in the coming years. Even my teenage daughter is looking forward to teaching me some of her braiding skills! I have some sweet goals and sweet memories to look forward to making.

  2. Not all men look good with long hair. when it is thin and balding in the middle it could look nicer short and well kept. especially when it looks dusty and not healthy. It is not always cute. Not all women find long hair attractive. And some men hsve hair that looks like brillo pads…
    Sorry to be the fun spoiler…

  3. My husband has been a longhair for about 5 years now. His hair is almost mid-back, super curly and sometimes it looks too frizzy. It’s funny that it takes him longer to get ready in the mornings than I do. At least two or three times a week, women stop him to tell him they love his hair. I absolutely love it!

  4. I recently turned 64 years old. Started growing my hair out about a year ago. Honestly it’s easier to take care of than short hair.
    I’m a “geriatric hippie” now. Lol.
    Pros definitely outweigh the cons.
    I like your products, especially the hair ties.

  5. At 72, I had long hair in the late ’60’s and ’70’s. When I met my wife in ’81 my hair was to the middle of my back. I was a construction worker so my hair was washed and cream rinsed every day after work. My wife talked me in to cutting it before our wedding in June ’82. I kept it short until two years ago and now it is the way I always wanted it, long and free flowing and thanks to The Longhairs, I got the best shampoo, rinse, serum and leave it in conditioner. By the way, she apologized for making me cut it. Both were worth it.

    1. Great story Scott and happy to have you back in the long hair ranks. Very stoked you are enjoying the products.

  6. I’m 49 I have longer hair then my wife it’s past my butt now, I’ve had every hairstyle you have from mohawk, buzz cut you name it but being in a band most my life metal band long hair having long hair just goes with the gig you can say lol

  7. I’m 68, 69 in May. Started growing mine at 15, 1969. Was thick but now very thin and slow growing, still majority of it is brown. Go every 3-5 months for about an 1/8 inch trim, takes her 2-3 minutes. Starting to get well past shoulders. Only cut it for a few girls ( over the years), for police academy and of course the army.

  8. Nice story! I am 55, I am a musician, but only as a hobby these days, I am actually a payroll & tax accountant working for the largest Commercial Real Estate corporation in the United States – something no every thinks I do looking at me! I have 2 degrees in acccounting, both graduating with honors! I am also an US Air Force veteran, ’88-’92, another thing people would never think of me being looking at me! My hair stylist, yes I go to a hair salon, has told me that she can’t ever see me going back to short hair, and neither does my girlfriend! I get 2 different kinds of looks from women, the look of disgust, and the oh hell yeah look (I like that look!). I will be participating in the 2024 Great Cut because I adamantly hate kids being bullied so I love the cause. Now back in the early to mid 80’s before joining the USAF I did play in a Hair Metal band and had big long hair, abused the hell out of it too with Aquanet, coloring, and all that the 80’s Hair Metal gig required. But once I enlisted I had short hair until about 3 yrs ago when I realized, I work from home, I work for a company that will accept my long hair as a long I keep neat and clean (which I want to do anyway, I usually just pull it back from Teams & Zoom video meetings and the rare instance I go into our Philly area office. Honestly, I feel the most like myself in the 55 yrs I have been on this giant spinning rock and so even when I get it cut in 2024 I will still have semi long hair and start all over again! Never going back to short hair again! Love your company, the support it provides to men and especially kids who feel like having long hair is just them! I have more hair ties than any woman I know, lol! Keep the cool designs coming! Long live long hair and rock n roll! PS – and don’t forget to file your taxes by April 18, 2023, lol!

    1. Outstanding Mike! Thanks for sharing bro and can’t wait to meet you in person at The Great Cut 2024!

  9. What a Story. I certainly need such support too. Lucky you both. Wish you long beautiful life together at least same as your awesome longhair 😉

  10. Love the hair ties. My wife got them for me. I’m 60 yrs old and started growing it a year ago and the only time I go to the barbershop is for a beard trim. (Saw that somewhere on this site)

    1. Hell yea Doug! Way to hold it down for the older guys, and yes the barber is for beard trims.

  11. I just turned 68. I started growing my hair long about 1 1/2 years ago. It grows really slow these days. I was told it
    grows slow because my hair splits all the time. I go in every 2 months to have it trimmed, very little. It’s also getting thin. My hair blows around when a fly passes by. I take Biotin to make it thicker (quackery if you ask me!). A young lady in a local CVS Pharmacy told me I have really beautiful long hair. (I’m not sure if I should believe her. She walks around the store with a white cane with a red stripe on it). I’m not sure what hair products to use; how to comb it; what to comb it with, etc. Is there help for an old timer like me? I have been ordering my hair ties from this company. They’re so easy to use and remove. Love them. Just got my latest order today. 🙂

    1. Yo Kirk! We are glad to have an elder statesmen here in our community! We have been interested in learning more about biotin, we’ve heard good things about it but don’t have our own experience just yet. Thanks for ordering our hair ties, glad you love them. As for tips, etc. recommend you sign up for Longhairs Quick Tips, all the basics you need to deal with that mane. Thanks for being here and being a customer, long live long hair!

      1. I use Nioxin, and it looks like it is working on the back of my head; it’s less thin.

  12. This article made my day! Hahah I’m in love with a long haired stud. The pros out way the cons any day

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