Awkward Stage Hair

The Uncomfortable Truth About Awkward Stage Hair

In Advocate, Educate by El Rubio351 Comments

You’re In It

Awkward stage hair. You’ve had enough. You’re cutting it off.

You have awkward stage hair and you’re convinced it looks awful. You feel weird, sloppy, unprofessional, and you don’t know what the hell to do with it. You get comments from people, even your mom, telling you your hair looks bad and well-meaning advice that “you should just cut it honey.”

They mean well, but they don’t understand. They’re thinking short-term, not big picture. You’ve got a date with destiny and you need to look good for it. What they don’t realize is your shoulders are throwing a party and they’re waiting for your hair to arrive.

Your shoulders are throwing a party and they’re waiting for your hair to arrive.
- Fact

Yet, with every naysayer and glance in the mirror, doubt creeps in, as slowly as your awkward length hair seems to be growing. You question your resolve, and each day a fresh, clean haircut sounds ever-more enticing.

Well friend, we’re here for you. The inspiration and education you need to power through your awkward stage hair is right here.

Man with awkward stage hair looking stressed

Define Awkward Hair Length

The awkward stage can take many shapes and forms, but the generally accepted definition for awkward length hair is from the point when it starts to look like you need a haircut until the time you can tie it up.

It starts when you start to look shaggy, not so neat and tidy, a little unkempt. When the first person politely asks when you’re getting a haircut.

It’s over when you can tie up all your hair—front, back and sides—into a high ball or other sick mens long hairstyles.

Man with awkward stage hair about to have a trim

Where Long Hair Dreams Die

At some point in life you become curious. You ask yourself, “what would I look like with long hair? What if I could do that thing in the water where you whip your hair back, or the slow jog beach exit? What if I could tie it up like that?”

Most guys give it a try somewhere between high school and college. It starts as a novelty, driven by curiosity. Which is all well and good until awkward stage hair arrives, when your last clean cut is a distant memory. It becomes noticeable. Conspicuous. Uncomfortable.

You effectively conceal it with hats and beanies, but sooner or later you’ll be exposed.

It might be a business meeting, a wedding, or some formal affair where a hat doesn’t fly, and that despicable rag on your head is revealed for all the world to see. You have full-blown awkward stage hair, and you’re a shaggy, dogged-looking scoundrel.

That’s when they start chiming in. Shaking your confidence. Doubt grows strong within you. It’s a crucible moment.

Man with awkward stage hair with a baseball hat

“That’s it. I’m a dignified man. Enough is enough,” you tell yourself as you slink off to the barber shop.

“Long time no see!” your barber greets you, all smiles.

You make small talk to drown out the voice on your shoulders screaming don’t do it, until the scissors have done irreversible damage and your promising youthful strands lie shorn and mutilated, dead on the barber shop floor.

It stings for a fleeting moment, but you walk out feeling fresh and clean, looking sharp, and the voice is quieted. “I’ll let it grow out next time, when I don’t have _____ to attend,” you console yourself, as your longhair dreams are swept into a dust pan and discarded unceremoniously.

But you’re only lying to yourself. And this is why curiosity alone won’t carry most men to the promised land.

The Center For
Awkward Stage Hair
Visit The Center

Anyone Can Have Short Hair

Most men never make it through awkward stage hair. Because while short hair is instantaneous and easy, long hair takes time, and there’s no way around it. You can't get it overnight. It’s not something you can run out and pick up at the store.

When you want a tattoo, you sit through a few hours of pain, let it heal for a few days and you’re done. To get in the beard club it’ll take a few months, but there’s no discernable stage that’s difficult to make it through. There’s little discomfort.

Money cannot buy it. You cannot steal, inherit, or borrow it. It can only be earned through dedication and commitment.

To get long hair you’ve gotta pay your dues. It’s like physical fitness in that regard: money cannot buy it. You cannot steal, inherit, or borrow it. It can only be earned through dedication and commitment.

That’s why when you see another guy with long hair, there are certain things you know about him. You know he’s been through awkward stage hair, which demonstrates to some degree he doesn’t care what other people think. You know he was willing to bear the temporary discomfort and complete his long hair journey. And he’s probably not a banker.

Man with awkward stage hair looking surprised

How Long Must I Suffer With Awkward Length Hair?

There’s a goal on the horizon: when you can tie it up, you've arrived. But how long will it take? It depends on where you start, how fast your hair grows, and how you take care of it.
Realistically, it will take at least 18 months to get completely free and clear of awkward stage hair.

Most people’s hair grows about a half inch per month. If your hair needs to be at least six inches to tie it up, that puts you at a minimum of one year. Realistically, it will take at least 18 months to get completely free and clear of awkward stage hair.

While you cannot actually make your hair grow faster, there are things you can do to promote faster growth: keep it healthy and strong, avoid breakage, and keep yourself in good health. But no matter what you do, it’s a waiting game.

Man with awkward stage hair looking at the camera

Tactics For Dealing With Awkward Hair Length

Hats & Headwear

The easiest and most obvious method is wearing a hat or a beanie to disguise your awkwardness, and knowing how to use a headband for awkward stage hair is a must. But as we know, these aren’t always acceptable and can’t be relied upon in more formal settings.

Styling Awkward Length Hair

There’s a few things you can try. Parting it can be risky, but worth a shot. You can comb it forward and straight down, but you might look like Lloyd Christmas.

You can slick it straight back, which will require a powerful bonding agent, but using products is a slippery slope with awkward stage hair. It starts to look like you’re trying too hard, like this is actually your intended style, rather than a desperate means to an end.

That’s not even getting into curly hair in the awkward stage.

The safest bet is simply going with a “messy look.” It shows you’re not trying too hard, that this is intentional. It says, “yes, my hair is messy as hell and I’m comfortable with that.” And that portrays confidence.

See these and more, and how to do them in Awkward Stage Hairstyles. Whatever you try, it’s never a bad idea to brush it, comb it, and keep it tidy.

Trimming In The Awkward Stage

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It’s a good idea to trim your hair in the awkward phase, which can help set you up for success growing long hair. Aim to get it cleaned up around the ears and the neck—however, be cautious with any foray into a barber shop or salon; your resolve may be tested.

It’s all covered in, Should You Cut In The Awkward Stage?

Growing Facial Hair

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Not every guy can grow facial hair, but this can help if you’re so endowed. Not only will it take some attention off your awkward stage hair, but it tends to balance the face—in fact we’ve found in our research that a clear majority of longhairs also wear facial hair. Turns out longhairs and beardsmen may be in different clubs, but they go to the same bars.
“Turns out longhairs and beardsmen may be in different clubs, but they go to the same bars.”

Timing It

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Opportune timing can help mitigate the four awkward stage resistance points. Plan your awkward stage hair around a break, holiday, or vacation, where you won’t have business or formal nonsense with expectations for your appearance.

The Naysayers

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Part of a concrete long hair gameplan is responding to negative comments about your hair—and there will be plenty.

First of all, it’s your hair. But it can be helpful to have a prepared statement.

One such response is, “I’m growing long hair to donate it to charity.” This will stop most naysayers in their tracks, but shouldn’t be used cheaply. If you use this to deflect negative comments, you must do so with intent and sincerity.

Beyond that, a confident statement of fact that you’re growing long hair and this is simply part of the journey will serve you well.

The Center For
Awkward Stage Hair
Visit The Center

Other Men’s Awkward Stage Hair Journeys

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In his groundbreaking 3-part series, Andy documents his pilgrimage to long hair, starting with Early Phase Awkward Stage Hair, painfully progressing to Mid Phase Awkward Stage Hair, and mercifully concluding with Late Phase Awkward Stage Hair.
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After getting to know him in An Awkward Interview With An Awkward Guy In The Awkward Stage, El Gnarstavo reveals how he ultimately persevered.
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After cutting and donating his hair to charity, the Co-Founder and President of The Longhairs vlogs his entire odyssey from awkward stage hair to a long flowing mane in his Grow With Moreno series.

And there's an enormous volume of additional awkward stage hair content right over here.

If Not Now…When?

You're growing it out, and you're not turning back. However you mitigate the situation, you must overcome awkward stage hair.

It will be a test of resolve, character and confidence…but you don’t have to do it alone. When you’re ready to get serious, visit The Center For Awkward Stage Hair.

Until then, be proud. Claim it. Rock the shit out of it, and power through the awkward stage with courage and commitment. The Longhairs are waiting for you on the other side.

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The Center For
Awkward Stage Hair
The definitive and unequivocal resource for growing long hair and overcoming the awkward stage, based on the experience of thousands of men who’ve made it through.

Who Are These Guys?

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A community for guys with long hair, advocates, supporters and friends. We publish tips, advocate for hair equality, and celebrate men’s long manes with hair whips and high fives.
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As Seen on Shark Tank


In season 9, episode 16 we landed a deal with Mark Cuban, but we’re still trying to get him to grow his hair out.
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World Record Holders


In 2019 we broke the Guinness World Records™ title for the most hair donated to charity in 24 hours.
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The Great Cut 2024


Join our next charity hair-cutting event and world record attempt benefiting Children With Hair Loss.
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We donate 1% of top-line revenue to our charity partners at Children With Hair Loss.

Comments

  1. Love this article, gave me the confidence to go through he awkward stage without a haircut. Wish I found it earlier! Third times the charm.

    Any more tips and tricks/ products that work for the awkward stage. Gonna make it through this time!!!

  2. Hey, Its been 4 months for me growing my hair. My top and sides have been growing out well. But my back looks pretty bad near the neck. My hair tends to curl and looks pretty messy. Even when I comb it down it won’t straighten. And around my neck the hair doesn’t feel as thick compared to my top and sides. Do you think I may need to trim at the back? Maybe thats why?

  3. Just starting the journey. Always wanted longhair and now I’m doing it. I’m still a teen and in school, so I can’t cover with a hat everyday. I’ve seen the Alice band, but I was thinking of maybe just using a nike headband during the awkward stage. I’m a long way from long hair, but I think I can power through, the comments have been very helpful.

  4. Hey guys!

    I got a fade a bit less than 2 months ago and I can tie the top (tight) but my sides are way too short of course (top part of fade is around 2 inches now) . My problem is that the sides are now poofing out especially the top half of the sides (cause of the fade) and I don’t know how to control this. My hair is straight and my face is roundish so the poofy sides aren’t doing it any favours. Any tips on how to get past this? Blow dry and product doesn’t help too much and feels uncomfortable cause of the increasing length and my oily-ish hair type. I was considering a headband of some sorts but don’t know what to get and how to wear it?

    Cheers for help and good luck to everyone!

    1. Hey Ditz!

      I would suggest that you don’t tie it up anymore until those sides get a bit longer. Just let it do it’s thing naturally. Headbands are not a bad option, also hats and beanies will get you through this stage. There is really no easy way, you just have to let it grow.

  5. I’m where you were at your year mark Wes. Lookin good, Alice band is my favorite thing to use so far.

  6. Hey guys!

    love this thread. I have been a tight fade my entire life (bald on the sides and a 1 or less on top.) However, I do have a THICK beard. So, my boss at work challenged me to let all my hair grow until I cant take it anymore (Aug 4th was my last cut). I have set a re-evaluation point for November 4th. My hair is super straight and strong.. I literally look like a chia-pet but with straight hair. I am talking some real just straight out on the sides and top ( its about an inch or more all round). Anyways, I am just looking for some motivation to get me through this time! again, my hair has never been this long (not in at least 20 years anyway!) I am 27 and nobody has ever seen me without my hair cut.. so the comments are rollllling in.

    Thanks guys!

    1. PETE! You’re really doing it man! First and foremost, you got to know that this is the long game. It’s not going to happen in a week, month or even year. So keep that in mind. Secondly, your straight hair is going to be DOPE when it’s long, lots of examples on this site proving that. To get through it though YOU got to be strong, think about the end game and those locks gracefully draping your shoulders. Get a hat that you love and rock the shit out of it durning the awkward stage and most importantly ignore all negative comments. If you feel urged to cut it, come back here and get the inspiration you need to hang in. YOU GOT THIS!

  7. Hi there!

    This was a really inspirational post, and I am now motivated to grow my hair out, after telling myself countless times that I would, and then ended up getting it cut. I believe I’ve been in my ‘awkward stage’ for about a month now. I wake up with my hair looking like squirrels had been fighting in it all night, so I’ve learned to throw a hat on overnight. It looks good for about two hours in the morning, but then starts to fall apart and look all wild again especially after exercising/running around. I’ve noticed that my hair grows a little faster on the top, and the front than on the sides/back, so some of it sticks up. Any suggestions or possible remedies to get my hair to not look so wild?

    Thanks very much!

    1. You’re kinda just in that phase right now where it’s going to be wild and you have to push through. You can try combing it down with a little gel or hairspray to kinda tame it, also hats and beenies are great for where your at. Pumped to see you here and happy you enjoyed the post, you got this!

  8. Hi guys, have been trying to grow my hair our for about 10 months now, starting from quite long on top. I have just been to the barber and trimmed the sides and fringe.

    My problem is that, without any product, i’m developing a bit of a mullet. See:

    http://imgur.com/4MMq3Sh

    http://imgur.com/Wu3LL7Y

    Even with product and with it a bit better styled, it still annoys me as i have this bulge of hair at the back of my head:

    http://imgur.com/iFHkORl

    http://imgur.com/BNnbMLp

    Looks like it’s basically similar to Wes’ hair (see September 12 2015 comment, http://m.imgur.com/pu9sXOz,TUhlJj8,awetbDH)

    Can i chop off the bottom so it’s level with my side hairline (about halfway down my ears), to let the sides catch up a bit? Surely if I just carry on like this I will end up with a ridiculous-looking mullet where the back is way longer than the sides, or do you think it will develop into something better?

    Any advice would be very welcome, thank you. Apologies for the faceless photos

    1. Yo Campomatic!

      I see what your talking about here but honestly I think you need to let it go for a few more months. I do think that once the sides get a bit longer it will fill out and look more even through your whole head. Give it another 3 months, if you’re still feeling exactly the same then I’d say trim the back a bit.

  9. Ok, so I have been growing my hair out from a buzz for about six months now. I kept the sides really short until about 2 months ago. The top is about 4 inches long and the sides and back are somewhere between 1 and 2. The back is starting to curl and the sides are starting to wing out. Slicking back the sides just looks odd on me. Any advice for me on what i can do to tame and style this mess till it grows out?

  10. I’ve had shoulder length hair a couple times already and am growing it out again hopefully forever! In the past I usually trimmed the back and sides until the top caught up. This time I’m thinking to just let it go completely, without cleaning up the back and sides. Is that something you would recommend or is it best to get it cleaned up now and then? Thanks.

    1. Author

      Definitely just let it go completely. You might still get it cleaned up just around the ears and neckline from time to time.

      Thanks for writing in man!

  11. Hey El Rubio, I have been growing my hair for almost 6 months now, the sides are out of control, should I trim it? Is it good for healthy hair growth. Yes I watched the trimming video. Thank you.

    1. Author

      Jack-Attack! No trim dude. I mean I haven’t seen it, but at six months you really shouldn’t need a trim for healthy hair reasons.

  12. I was 5 months in to growing but I did a terrible thing today (RIP hair) I don’t mind the top or sides when they’re long but the back forms into a mullet. Any tips on how to stop that from happening? The quest for long hair starts today.

  13. I’m only about two months in, so I haven’t got the awkward stages yet, but I’m determined to power through them! I’ve only tried growing my hair out once before, and I got to the six or seven month mark before I caved and got a haircut.

    Not this time though.

    Bookmarking this page so I can come back to it when I’m in the worst of the awkward stages, and get some tips!

    1. Author

      JP! The journey of 12 inches begins with the first month—and a commitment.

      You’re on the path.

  14. I was literally in the parking lot of the barbershop when I found this site. All the comments were so relatable, my family and friends all convinced me to just give up. But you guys have me the motivation to push on and now I’m more excited than ever to get to the finish line. THANK YOU!!!

    1. Author

      Dude just in time! Stick with it man, we’ll be here waitin for ya on the other side.

  15. 3 months in from having my hair cut to a 1. I had an awakening from it and never want my hair that short again LOL. I’ve kept up with the sides so they are still short but my hair on top has been untouched and is about 2in. I’m not going to cut the sides anymore! Will this look weird that the growth on top will be longer than the sides? One of my best friend’s wedding is in a year. Hopefully the awkward stage will be about done so I don’t look like an asshole. Either way I’m excited for the journey!!!

    1. Author

      It’s going to look weird no matter what bro. There’s a long journey ahead, keep lettin it ride!

  16. Help with sideburns!!! The look big and thick do I cut them or are they also part of the process?

  17. I have not cut my hair in almost for months< but i have thick wavy hair, and it is starting to grow over my ears at the sides is it possible for me to grow long flowing and and advice will be appreciated

  18. I found this at just the right time! I’ve been growing mine out for almost six months and I’ve hit the awkward stage full force. I’m a barista and while it’s laid back, I still get tons of comments from people telling me I need to cut it. Glad I read this because it gave me a confidence boost. Thanks.

    1. Author

      Yes man! We are waiting for you on the other side. Hopefully you signed up for the email list, we just put together a new email series for dealing with the awkward stage.

      Keep lettin it ride man!

  19. Hello everyone. 🙂 I used to have a pixie cut which is not shaped into a bob. . . . . . . . . sort of! T “growing out” process is dreadful to say that least. It’s thicker in some spots than in others and a bit uneven. It looks like a flat brown mop is really what it comes down to! However, I have made the commitment and I intend on sticking to it, no matter how frustrating it gets or how gross I think I look. We are all in this together folks and we can do it! 😉

    1. Author

      NikkiMarie welcome to the team! Appreciate your commitment, it will all be worth it.

  20. Hey guys! I’m on my journey to long hair, but i’d like to hear some opinions about my hair right know, l feel like im at some point of the awkward stage, l have always slicked my hair to the side but now l feel like is somehow too much on the top but shorter by the sides.

    I can’t really use hats too much cause l work at Starbucks and l have to be with my hair on its place ( Sbucks on México is a bit more claimant about the look on his partners ).

    So here it is by now, l have been without a big cut since 4 months: http://imgur.com/a/CHCQ7

    Thank you!

    1. Author

      You are definitely in the awkward stage hombre. Be proud.

  21. Hello everyone
    So I was trying to grow my hair for more than 4 times now (can you believe that)
    And I usually cut it in the 4th or 5th month .
    But now this is the 5th time and I said to myself I will not cut it no matter what people say or think of it.
    The problem is people close to you like family and best friends , they always tell me it looks bad and I need to visit the barber. I mean if it was a stranger I would tell them to f**k off but these are people I know for a long time especially family, so right now as I said is my 5th attempt to growing my hair out and I’m at the 4th month and everyone’s telling me to cut it especially my family and I don’t know what to tell them and how to explain that this is all part of the process.
    Everyone thinks your hair grows with no trouble but people need to understand that. So how can I explain to them with a short conversation that it’s meant to look like this until it reaches a certain length(especially the annoying sides)
    Thanks in advance 🙂

    1. Yo M! Long hair is your decision no one else’s, you have to deal with it, you have to maintain it you have to be the one who loves it. You can’t let anyone else convince you other wise, you have to want it! Don’t let others make decisions for you. This is your life, and you tell them that. OWN IT!

  22. Hey longhairs, my hair is relatively long as the back goes past my shoulders but the front on the other hand barely goes past my ears. I’ve been growing since last September, and it looks messy, I might have split ends and i don’t know how I can style it. I need your help asap before I consider cutting my hair.

    On a side note, I’m always losing heaps of hair when I wash my hair (once every 2-3days) and so it’s resulted in my hair having many short hairs which look damaged but I don’t know how I damaged them. Any tips?

    1. Author

      Yo JC!

      We could film a documentary about the tsunami of hair problems you’re facing. We’d call it, “A Calamity of Follicles.”

      We’re doing a post about split ends soon. The best thing I can suggest is signing up for Longhairs Quick Tips, we share some tips and advice in there.

      There is light at the end of the tunnel amigo. Hang in there and keep lettin it ride.

  23. Great site guys and awesome tips.

    I think it’s the 5th time i’m trying to grow long hair.
    Seen a lot of videos on internet of people growing long hair and their 5-6 month hair is like mine right now and i cutted
    2 weeks ago. Shorter on the sides and the back than up.
    Being like that my awkward stage begins with 2 or 3 months. It’s good when it’s wet but dry look’s like a bush,
    Well treated my hair gets somewhat curly. But can’t say what becomes after 5 months, people convinced me to cut every time at that time.
    Anyway i really want to have a long hair, at least once just don’t know if i can. Sorry for the long post. Any help it’s appreciated.

    Thank you for all the great informations.

    1. You bet Arthur, we are here for ya. The one thing you have to do is commit, that’s it. Just fully commit and you’ll get there.

  24. Great post, made me laugh when it mentioned dealing with people telling you to cut it. Now I grow it bc it’s awesome AND to spite you, so thanks for the motivation!

    I’m at 50 weeks and going strong. I don’t care what other people think, but I want to look presentable. I tie it up (partially) most of the time in a samurai style pony or knot and use a band to control the bangs that don’t reach. My problem is when it’s not tied up, the back looks so much longer than the rest. My hair is healthy and wavy but I look like I have a ‘fro-llet’ straight out of an 80s hair band. Should I maybe take an inch or two off the back? Don’t want to ruin it.

    1. Author

      What’s wrong w/ the 80’s hair band??

      I’ll say the same thing we say to others: trimming is definitely going to set you back in your journey, but is it going to help you look better in the meantime? I can’t say for sure. In my experience it’s best to just leave it be and try to mitigate the damages. Hats and beanies are the go-to, but not always appropriate. If you’re at 50 weeks you’re probably another 25-30 weeks before you can tie it up full on. Is there anything over the next 30 weeks that is going to stop you? Sounds to me like no.

      Keep lettin it ride man.

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